Jen

The swollen tongue.

On Thursday night, I noticed that my tongue felt a little funky. By Friday, I felt as if I had drank a cup of fire. My tongue felt huge! So, I figured that I must have had some sort of reaction to something I ate, which is not at all unusual for me. I happen to be allergic to a lot of strange things, like the dye Red 44. I’m serious.

Anyway, I call my mom so she can refresh my memory of all the crazy ass things I happen to be allergic to. Here’s how it went.

Me: Mom, My tongue is swollen.
Mom: What?
Me: It’s swollen. Am I talking funny?
Mom: (laughing) Are you sure it’s swollen? Did you burn it on something?
Me: Not that I can remember. Maybe I did last night at the barbecue.
Mom: Did you have anything . . . strange?
Me: Like what?
Mom: Oh I don’t know, something that might cause your tongue to be swollen.
Me: I drank last night, if that it what you are implying by something.
Mom: Oh, no, not drinking.
Me: Oh.

So basically, my mom thought I was on crack and still heavily under the influence.

When I went home on Sunday, I was forced to stick my tongue out where they could see that it was actually swollen. Let me tell you, they were both surprised.

PS. Benadryl and alcohol make for bad headache and complete spaciness. Do not combine under any circumstances. I found this out on Saturday night.