Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Jen

I know this much is true

It's always been my wish to install an air conditioner. You never know when you might need that skill later in life.

I also promised Nate that I would take him to Ikea to get new stuff for his apartment. One of his roomates is moving out and taking some furniture with him. Besides, although Ikea freaks me out, I still really love it.

Instead of yoga, I saw Dr.Strangelove at Grant Park. It was realy pretty great to have the beautiful Chicago skyline behind you as you watch a movie. The only thing that sucked were these two assholes that decided to bring, what we called by the end of the night, "skyscraper chairs" because they blocked the view of everyone behind them. I managed to sit in some funny positions to see the screen; I may have even practiced yoga.

I don't have enough time to write a lot, so here is a forward that was sent to me:

Things we have learned from the movies

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the
price range of most people whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world
expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down
three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once.
11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the
armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of Frenchbread.
13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.
14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent
will do. (It used to be an English accent for the German.)
17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18.A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: Enter Password Now.
22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments. Tires will squeal on any surface, at any speed.
23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended fromduty.
25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will
know all the steps.
26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their totalopposite.
27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
to each other in English.

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