Jen

Ten things that happened to me in (in a little place, just outside of) Joliet:

1) Sat by a bonfire.
2) Drank lots of beer.
3) Fell asleep on a picnic bench.
4) Bought bait.
5) Was Louise of Thelma and Louise. Wait, which one drove the car again?
6) Left Joliet, went to a DAB show.
7) Came back, went midnight fishing.
8) Fell asleep on a boat.
9) Witnessed actual COPS Episode.
10) Made George Washington smile.

NOTES:
1) This happened every night. Fire + beer = Damn good time!
2) This happened more than should be documented. Must not discuss due to fact that I may sound like alcoholic. Like writing in caveman style. Will continue for rest of number two.
3) Self-explanatory.
4) The boys, meaning my Pat and Brian (Pat’s friend) wanted to go fishing, therefore, bait needed to be bought. This is connected to number five.
5) Nicole (Brian’s girlfriend) and I went to the shop while the boys cooked dinner. We went to this truck stop dinner/shop and bought bait, a can of bug repellent (not so Thelma and Louise) and 2 packs of cigarettes (for the boys.) The guy at the counter gave us an odd look because we were buying these things, and the way Nicole asked for the cigarettes made me give her the devil horns (so Thelma and Louise.) Then we cruised into the sunset and killed ourselves by driving off a cliff. Actually, we sped down this shitty dirt road in my ghettoed up car. We found it pretty amusing that the guys were cooking food and we went to get bait and cigarettes.
6) I was late, yes, I know. The place we were staying at was further away from Orland Park than expected. Still, DAB rocked (wicked) hardcore. I took some photos with the new flash. Excellent.
7) I have no idea why they wanted to go fishing so badly at night. I got bored with the whole affair (I couldn’t see a damn thing!) so, I found this boat that was flipped upside down, and I laid on it to look at the stars.
8) Then I fell asleep.
9) As we were walking back from the event, some party that was in full swing when we left started turning bad. There was a lot of screaming and we heard someone being thrown against their camper. We get back to our bonfire only to hear this woman scream at someone: “Look at Dan’s face!!! Look at it! It’s covered in blood!!! Look at what you’ve done! (The lady was VERY drunk) I should have taken those drugs away from you!!!!” Then later, “You don’t deserve this shit! You shouldn’t put up with this anymore!!! You don’t deserve it!!” No COPS actually showed up because we were in the middle of nowhere, but this domestic dispute could have been on an episode (COPS GO WT*). Also, one woman sitting a table was so drunk that she fell over and then moaned until 4 am.
10) This is a trick that I learned as a kid: Take a dollar bill. Put a crease in the middle of George Washington’s head, right through the mouth. Now, keeping the crease in the bill, rotate it back and forth. He will then smile and frown. It is really very amusing.

*White Trash