i think my workplace thinks i'm a terrorist. i chose not to attend the simulcast of Chicago's memorial service that's happening in front of my building right now. i just didn't feel that it would have any significance for me. i feel that i can choose to remember the attacks in my own way and i don't want to participate in the uber-patriotic demonstrations of downstairs. i don't know. i'm not much of a public person when it comes to things like this. i prefer my news to be delivered, my opinions formed and my emotions displayed in a private conversation. in a place where a give and take can happen. where i can change my mind or disagree and it's not like i'm a wierdo-sicko. none of this makes much sense. but basically i just wanted to make the point that patriotism and loyalty isn't proved through empty ceremony. i'm not sure how it's proved, in a way that doesn't involve my death, but whether sitting here or singing god bless america with a bunch of office workers i'm the same person. and i don't like the implication that i'm not.