Mike

Jesus loves you/but he's alone in that sentiment/so don't get too comfortable

Jen - Sorry for missing Consuming Nature last week. I was busy being consumed by my job and traffic, two things that kept me out of Chicago until about 6:30.

In an effort to experience the pain and humiliation that so many before me have felt, I decided to place a personal ad a few weekends back and go on some dates with complete strangers. My weapon of choice was Craigslist, a popular destination for many a hipster. The ad was simple - I talked a little about my interests, but didn't really go into detail about my appearance or my definition of "the perfect woman" or anything cheesy like that. I also left out the fact that I have seen just about every episode of 7th Heaven. I didn't expect much of a response, but ended up getting emails from five women (or people who claimed to be women) over the next few days. One of the ladies who responded actually works at an area record store that will remain unnamed, and appears to be a complete lunatic based on the brief conversations we have had in the past. I didn't reply to her. Another girl was ruled out based on the following email:

You soudn hot! Email me bacck.

If you can't handle proofreading a 6 word email, I can't imagine you handling a conversation, the tying of your own shoes, or holding down a job that doesn't involve paper hats. I already went on one date this past Friday with a girl named Paulette, and it was actually a good time. We went to Club Foot in Ukrainian Village, the site of much vomiting on my 23rd birthday. I found out that she used to live pretty much right behind me when I lived in Lakeview, and actually knows my roommate. In fact, we actually ran into my roommate, who had been hanging out at Innertown. I gave her my number at the end of the night, so the ball is in her court. We'll see what happens. I think I may have another date with one of the other respondees next weekend.