Jen

if you lived here you'd be home now

These next two days, I will be sitting in an empty museum doing not a whole hell of a lot, waiting until I have to once again, pack up my shit and travel to Las Vegas. After that I will be flying home and doing nothing for a week because the Museum is closed for the holiday season. This gives me two choices for more things to do: I can either go out almost every night and try and party like it's 1999 with the nonexistant cash flowing into my account or, I can work on my thesis paper. I always say to myself, "This will be the week where I start my thesis." Funny how I've been saying that since the middle of June and I still have not one of the 40 pages that I have to hand in.

I saw some old friends this weekend, which is always a nice treat, but also happened to get me thinking about all sorts of crap that I don't really want to think about. As usual, I've been thinking that maybe, sometimes I act too young for my age. I talked to a friend of mine that wants to invest in property becuase he feels settled now that he's been working a couple years. Another old friend already owns a house and is planning on getting married in the summer - oh yeah, did I mention he's only 23? Anyway, the only thing that I have to take care of besides myself is my cat, and that is pretty much the beginning and end of my responsibility. No wonder that I surround myself with slightly younger people than I, It's easier not to think about all the things that are expected of you as you get older when they aren't thinking about those things at all. Really, if it were up to me, I would take all the money that I have saved (all $10 of it!) and check out and travel. Is it so wrong to not want to be responsible? Is it?

I think that when I was 21 or so, I was much serious for my age. for christsake, I was working two jobs and going to school. Have I regressed? Why am I even thinking about this?

I got an e-mail from a friend of mine named Fran who is living out in New York. It was a really inspirational e-mail (which sounds so wrong (an inspirational e-mail?) now that I type it) about how by becoming more self-aware and focusing in on the positive, she has become a better person. Maybe it's these little things that set off the electrodes in my brain to get me thinking about everything in this universe; everything from if there is a loophole in the Matrix to how I want to move somewhere and grow all my own vegetables and never buy corporate produced food again to what makes certain snapshot-esque color photographs a piece of fine art and where is the line between art and chance? What the hell am I rambling about?

Ok, sorry for this tirade. Just thinking out loud. I hope to chime in once again before I leave for Vegas and shut down the museum tomorrow. I'm also hoping my next blog will be more fun! yay!