Jen
Wedding Etiquette
This weekend, all contributors to this blog - minus Mike (we wish you could be there!) - are going to celebrate the union of our friends Dustin and Laura. I’m super excited to go to this wedding. I’ve known Dustin since first grade, so it’s nice to see such a familiar face grow up and get hitched. However, this wedding has got me questioning a few things.
1) Dress: Christie and I have been discussing this for at least two weeks now. The wedding is February 25th - obviously still in winter - and we have both decided on black dresses. Here is where the problem comes in: shoes. What kind of shoes should we wear? We both have strappy spring/summer heels, and really, if you go shopping, that is all there is to buy. So do we rock the strappy heels sans nylons, or do we wear the nylons with the strappy shoes?
2) Gift: Okay, I’ve asked around a bit, and apparently the minium gift for a wedding is $100. I’ve even heard $75 per person. Now as you may or may not know, Matt and I are poor. That is one of the reasons I have three jobs. I’d love to give $150 to the deserving couple, but even $100 is pushing it for me. So, can you do a gift, let’s say a handmade piece of art by yours truly, plus a lesser amount of money?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the manner.
posted by Jen @ 3:34 PM
4 Comments:
I would perhaps steer clear of the personal art. It reminds me a little of the episode of Will and Grace where Grace brings a plaster hand print from her youth with twigs in it. In all truth, your friends want you there, not your money. Ok, they want both...but if they know you and your financial situation, then they shouldn't be expecting money. I believe proper etiquette has even started steering clear of the pay for the cost of your meal idea. I say, give what you can, get something cheap off the registry, or maybe some cute assembly of items for the honeymoon (books, soduku, eye masks for the plane ride..).
That's a great idea! Much appreciated. Any ideas about the shoes?
Here's what I would do...
As far as shoes, you can really do either open-toe or closed- it depends on what looks better with the dress. You'll be inside most the time (right?) so your toes should be warm 90% of the night.
I am always so awful about the wedding gift thing. Personally, I think it comes down to how nice the wedding is. I had a friend who had open bar, amazing food and a great live band- it was a wedding they put a lot of $$ into. We bought them a $100 deep fryer (t's what they wanted and what we could afford and they LOVED it). I figure if they put on a great wedding, we give a little more to the gift.
On the other hand, I had a friend who had a wedding at a Sportsmans Club with no open bar and a fried chicken/mashed potato buffet. Most the people showed up in JEANS! Let's just say they didn't get a deep fryer.
I really think it depends on the event and DON'T feel bad if you can't spend a lot of money on a gift. To be honest, most couples have too many gifts to begin with and don't remember how much you spent or didn't spend. Give what you can and remember it's a gesture that counts. Hope that helps!
Being a poor bastard as well, I usually go 50 - 75 dollars and try to get a set of something from the registry ... stemware or something that acutally LOOKS like I spent a ton, but may not have.
I agree with Lisa -- your friends want you there more than your money.
Also, your friends are usually about as broke as you, so they should be sympathetic.
Finally, proper etiquette dictates that you have one year to get a gift (I still need to get Laura Poskozim hers ...I have a couple of months left to do so).
As for shoes ... what about sassy leather boots? Could you do those?
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