Jen

spoken like a champion

On Wednesday night, I went to Cody's, a great little bar on Paulina and Barry, with my friend Eugene. I went into the ladies room where of course, a drunk woman starts to talk to me. Everytime I'm at that bar, someone, usually an older woman who has had to much to drink, will start up some conversation with me. One time, I was told by an older woman that I looked like what she thought her unborn fetus would be like if it had grown up. Creepy. So, of course, I walk in and she has her stall door wide open, and I try to avoid any awkward eye contact in the process of going into my stall. Then she starts talking.

Drunk lady (slurred speech): I'm sorry I left the door open.
Me: It's cool. Don't worry.
DL: You know what?

At this point even if you don't respond, she's going to talk anyway.

DL: I hate men.
Me: Oh really?
DL: yeah, the bartender cut me off.
Me: Maybe he was just looking out for you.
DL: On no. that bastard always cuts me off.

Me exiting the stall. Drunk Lady is wearing a fanny pack and a hot pink tank top.

DL: How old do I look? (talking extremely close to me.)
Me: (thinking she looks about 45) 35?
DL: Can you believe I'm 43? I'm a grown woman! I have a husband and a daughter and he cuts me off!
Me: (Completely speechless)
DL: (poking me with her finger) Can you help me?
Me: Um, sure.
DL: are you here alone?
Me: no I'm with a friend of mine.
DL: My name is Kathleen, what's your's? (Now hanging onto me and using me as a complete support)
Me: Jen.
CL: I like Jennifer better! (poking me again) Now let's go out and you play along.

Anyway, I go back by Eugene and she comes up to me when the bartender is serving us and she gives me a hug. She then tries to convince the bartender that I'm her niece and she wants to buy me a drink. He sends her on her way, but the best part of the story comes next. Apparently, as I talk to the bartender more, it turns out that everytime she comes in, she gets really drunk and then accuses him of cutting her off but he never initially says anything to her. She basically asks him why she's being cut off, and then he realizes that she's too drunk and then he really does stop serving her.

I took the day off yesterday because I can only really work 30 hours a week. Non-profit organizations. Love em, but they don't pay well!!! Hey Mike, if someone does give you a bag full of cash, can you send some my way?

Is anyone as shocked as I am to see greg write?!?!