Sunday, June 26, 2005

Hi. I haven't written because there hasn't been much to talk about. I went to the book fair a couple of weeks ago. We bought books and books. I got a lot of stuff. My favorite thing so far is a pressed spider on page 73 of Tropic of Capricorn. I've given up on the book for now but hooray for book fairs and hooray for spiders.

Here's a quiz:

Question one: You are driving down the street and come upon what appears to be a puppy sale but when you finally approach the box, you see tarantulas the size of puppies (but they're extra furry, they've been bred to have only two eyes and they make cute "wbwblwlwjwje" noises.) Would you buy one?

2) What would make the best Halloween duo?

A) freckle and redhead
B) birthmark and freckle
C) freckle and skin
D) they don't all suck, dude. ok, whatever man, Fuck You, then.
E) I'm sorry. It's been a shitty week. Plastics is a bitch.
F) so what if i've been drinking? I'll let myself out.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


All day, I've had "As Your Ghost Takes Flight" by Saves the Day in my head. Actually, I've had one line in my head, and because I couldn't remember all the words, I kept repeating "You've got a parade stuck in your teeth. . ." Now, I know damn well he isn't saying "parade" but I couldn't for the life of me remember what he did have stuck there. I went through the list of items that can be logically stuck in one's teeth throughout the day: popcorn? spinach? some other weird food? floss? Of course, around 5:00, after a whole day of a parade being stuck in his teeth, I finally remembered that it was a granade.

Here's an article that Brian mentioned to me in the comments of my previous post and wanted to share. It's about a friend of ours from Grad school, Kerry Skarbakka, who, at the end of his time at Columbia, was already getting notice for his work. I thought this article was hilarious. It's funny how people can find something offensive in everything, even if they don't know the whole story.

Just curious, but who else that reads this is also a subscriber to Netflix? I've become obsessed lately with the "Friends Section"; you can take quizes on your friends movie tastes, recommend movies and rate them and all sorts of other wonderful things. Just as I was checking today, Brian recommended this movie called "Tape" and Byron and Dave recommended "Superbabies: Super Geniuses 2." How hilarious is that? Anyway, please be my Netflix friend because I already spend way too much time on the internet and need something else to check.

Just as an FYI - I have not seen my stalker since last week. With luck, that was the last time. Thanks for your supportive e-mails on how to deal with a psycho. : )

Friday, June 17, 2005


I went to Ralph’s (it’s a grocery store. Speaking of that, who in their right mind would name a grocery store Ralph’s?) last night and bought four very random items:

1) Cat litter
2) Dental Floss
3) BBQ tongs
4) A Bundle of Wood

Have you ever walked into a grocery store to buy one thing, and as you are looking for that item, stumble across another item that you remember that you need for whatever reason? That is pretty much my trip. I actually went to get cat litter and wood (we just got a fire pit for our patio!!! I’m very excited to use it!) and then remembered I needed some floss and well, I ran across the tongs when I was looking for wood and remembered how hard it was to rotate those veggie skewers we made the other day and decided we need a pair.

But I digress.

It’s official. I have a stalker. No really, I’m serious. There is this guy who has been in the gallery at least five times since we put the new show up and it’s only been up a month. What usually happens is he walks in, pretends to look at the price list and then pretty much asks me the same question about the photographs: “Where are these taken?” I reply “Germany,” along with some other witty comment about the work.

Today, however, I recognized him instantly as the weird guy who has seen this exhibit way too many times. SO when he asks me the usual question, I just say “Germany” and go back to my work. He just stands there, at my desk, thinking of something to say. He remembers some random comment I made previously about the work and asks me about it. I respond, obviously. I can't be totally rude. He takes this as a positive sign and uses his built up courage to keep on talking to me.

Apparently, over the four other times he has been here, I have told him my nationalities, my birthplace and that I live in Venice?!?!? I know, am I stupid? Then I start to freak out because I can’t even remember talking to him long enough to say all these things. Luckily the phone rings and it is our warehouse manager, John, who I love, so I keep him on the phone long enough in hopes that the other guy will get the picture and go. But does he go?!?!? No! He hangs out to ask me if I know any foreign languages. My god! Anyway, my boss finally pops her head out and he takes off like a scared dog. Shheesh.

Am I overreacting? I guess if he were somewhat attractive, I'd probably take it as a compliment. But he's definitely in his late 30's and we all know I look like I'm 18, so this is weird, right? I’m at the gallery alone now and I’m freaked out! Anyone have any suggestions? Comments? Please let me know!

Monday, June 13, 2005


I'm watching my usual daytime programming and what does it get interrupted by? The stupid Michael Jackson case. Someone please tell me if you care whether or not he goes to jail. Send him away! Let him go back to his freaky mansion! Makes no difference to me!!! I don't care, so please don't make me watch it. I don't want to hear from "specialists," I don't want to hear from lawyers who are "specialists", I especially do not want to hear the opinions of fans and bystanders who think they are special. Please get this crap off of my television.

On Friday, I was told by our usual UPS guy (after pointing at the tattoo of a peacock located conveniently on my forearm) that the tattoo of choice for those that have used/are using heroin is the peacock on the forearm to cover up track marks. Thanks for mentioning this in front of my boss, UPS guy!

Speaking of heroin, that is one drug I could never see myself using. I mean, I hate getting shots for Christ's sake, could I ever inject something just for shits and giggles? No thanks.

I wanted to thank all the lovely people that read Matt's poems. I'm sending off the final bunch today. So, sometime in July, we should know yes or no. Pretty crazy, eh? I mean, it feels like we've been here longer than we have, but I can remember our move cross country like it was yesterday. . . getting a flat tire in Nebraska, torrential rain storms in Utah, Josie (cat) dry heaving in the seat next to me. Ahh, good times. It was a trip to remember, that's for sure. And we are going to do it again? Are we nuts?

There are many things I love about living here. I love how on a clear day, you can see the mountains behind the skyscrapers; it's amazing. Especially when those mountains have snow, and it's 70 degrees where you are. I love how there is this point on Venice beach by the jetty where you can stand and see waves after they break. I love how when I am lying in bed, unable to sleep, I can close my eyes and hear the waves crashing on the shore and let it lull me to bed. I love walking down my flower covered, palm tree lined block every morning and every night with the scent of flowers and ocean salt. These are things I'll miss.

But as I have complained about on a pretty much daily basis (traffic, cars, driving. . . ), it is these problems that this city is built on. The same view of the mountains on a clear day is usually covered up by a layer of yellow something that hangs over the city. I saw an ad yesterday that said "We make sure nobody in LA walks." Think about that for just one minute. Are you saying you want even MORE cars on the already congested highways and streets? You want even more air pollution in a city that has a visual clearance of only a mile or so? You want more pissed off drivers who are willing to cut someone off or get in an accident so they can shave 5 minutes of their hour commute? God, I hate that, I hate it so much. Yes there is traffic in any big city, but this is outrageous.

And now I have stepped off my soapbox, courtesy of Jiffy Lube and General Motors.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


Three things I witnessed today:

1) First off, imagine anger. Image so much anger that you are willing to risk your life and other's lives because you hate your life (maybe) and are too impatient to wait for the person in front of you to turn. Now, to my story. On my way from Subway (dying to eat my 6 inch veggie sub), I was waiting to make a right hand turn out of the parking lot but had to wait for traffic to pass. At the light nearby, two cars are in the left hand turn lane; a giant silver SUV and a tiny crappy foreign car. Anyway, I finally get my opportunity to turn out of the lot and continue straight down the street I am on, when big silver SUV turns out of the turn lane into opposing traffic while I am headed directly towards that area. The woman, the angry, angry woman, nearly clips my backside (I had to swerve out of the way so she wouldn't hit me head on) as she drives around the crappy old foreign car to make a left hand turn.

2) I next went to the bank where I see a woman escorted out with handcuffs. After I made a deposit, I return back to my car only to see her facing a wall while a bunch of cops with blue rubber gloves search her vehicle. Actually, this was pretty awesome.

3) On my way back to work after my errands are finished I am waiting behind a car at a stop light. She (I really hate the fact that all my stories are about women) is continually inching into the intersection even though there are an amazing 6! lanes of traffic in motion. Finally, even though we STILL have a red light, she drives partially into the intersection to aid her in making a 3-point turn so she can go back down the street she came. Mind you, she had to go into oncoming traffic to pull this off and do it while we still had a red light. I nearly shat in my pants.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Just felt like posting a picture today.

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Don't forget to look at Matt's poems! I'm serious!

Monday, June 06, 2005


Does anyone remember when Josh Caterer announced that he was a Christian? I would listen to Smoking Popes songs and think all the lyrics were about God. This is kinda of the same thought process for the Dandy Warhols. After seeing DIG!, I think all of Courtney Taylor's songs are about Anton Newcombe.

Just wanted to share a random thought.

Ok, so here's the deal. Matt is in the process RIGHT NOW of applying to Grad School for creative writing. Anyway, he needs to submit about 10 to 15 poems depending on the school and we need some help picking out the best ones. So, if you have a moment during your busy schedule, please, please go to Matt's blog, What's in Matt's Hat, and leave a comment by the poems you like the best. You don't have to pick out ten, just a couple that tickle your fancy! Do it!

So, if Matt get's accepted to his school of choice, which Is DePaul, in the lovely city of Chicago, we will be back home in September! That's right, we are outta here!

Thursday, June 02, 2005


I feel like such a jerk. Tell me how oh how could I miss calling Christie on her birthday?!?!? I have it written in my calendar, I even bought her a gift way in advance and yet, I forgot to call!!!! I am so sorry! I hope you had a fun birthday.

For about a month, I thought that I might be going to Paris for Paris Photo in November. I feel like such a fool. I got a bit of a hint today that I am not included in the plans and it pretty much pissed me off all day. I work very, VERY hard here, I don't get paid tons of cash for it, and all I wanted was one tiny perk. This makes me want to move back to Chicago in August instead of next year because really, why I am sticking around? So I can be excluded from yet another gallery event that they could use me at?

Fuck that noise.

On a lighter note, I think a homeless person was taking a bath at the public restrooms by my gallery. This woman had a bucket that she carried with her full of random objects, like a vase, dishwashing soap and a metal tea kettle half filled with milk. I guess she could have been eccentric, but she really didn't smell that way.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


I am back safe and sound from Los Padres where I spent the weekend camping with friends. Yes, you’ve guessed it, there are pictures! I haven’t gotten the photos back from when were actually hiking and not just drinking, so I’m just going to post the drinking related pics.

Here is a view from our campsite which was really in the middle of nowhere. We drove 40 something miles into the canyons to find this secluded little spot.
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Let the drinking begin!
Here is a picture of Greg and I by the fire.
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We went into this small camp area about a mile or so away from our campsite. Luckily there was a bar and a pool table, so we were able to do something else at night besides stare at each other in the dark. 4 out of 5 of us wear dark rimmed glasses, so it looked like the librarian convention was in town.
This is the group minus me: Matt, Shawn, Ryan and Greg.
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We went on some crazy hikes up in Dick Smith Wilderness (no pictures yet!) where I actually had to cross a river in my Jeep to get there. Very cool.

Please note some new links on the side: Free Diamonds is Paul's band (one of my best friends) back in Newcastle upon Tyne, please check them out because one day they will be HUGE! Or at least, well appreciated. Also my buddy Joe in NYC has started blogging, so now you can read about dangerous tomato cans and how even if you move, you can never really leave Chicago behind.