I don't know why this makes me feel like hell, but it does.

Becky

It's gonna hit us with a one, two punch.

That is how the weatherman described the weather for today. I like to refer to it as a death trap.

my trip to Whole foods in Wheaton has left me a little delirious.

ps-I saw george w sippin on some gin 'n juice yesterday. wierd.

let the madness begin

they just let my office mate go. no more annoying stories about him. it's rather quiet in here right now.

i'm in a weird mood. i have that butterflies in the stomach feeling, but i'm not sure why. oh well. nothing good to report because i slept for a hell of a long time yesterday. i fell asleep as soon as my head hit pillow. rock out.

Jen

George W. Bush broke a campaign promise to:*
a)keep his mind on his money and his money on his mind
b)build a second, more lifelike Laura Bush robot
c)bring troops home from Kosovo
d)visit all 66 states
e)make Jeb Bush Minister of Noogies

This question is from the News Quiz portion of Time. This is why I love that magazine.

I have ants. In my kitchen. Ugh. It just added to some other minor apartment related stresses. I had to call Crazy Old Ernie this morning and ask him what to do about our little problem. I think I was on the phone with him for 15 minutes, while he told me everything from how to kill mice to our new downstairs neighbors, then finally he told me to get ant spray from Jewel. I could have told myself that. Anyway, he’ll reimburse me for the bug stuff, and if we have any more problems, he’ll call in the Orkin man.

Speaking of pests, I’m sure you have all seen things on the news about this new computer virus called the worm, which will attack sometime tonight. It attacks servers (especially those running on Windows NT) and slows down internet usage. So, I’m watching this report, and I all I can think about is: “what if I can’t get to the blogs and my hotmail?” So, I ask Pat, who knows much more about computers than I, “Do you think this will affect our computers at work?”** See, I tried to make it sound like I care about work, but all I’m really thinking about is Blog and e-mail. Then my next thought to myself was, “Oh my god, I am a computer nerd!”

Becky, I don’t think that reading books from Oprah’s book club is a problem. The problem starts when you start watching the show non-stop, actually going to Oprah Book Club meetings and limit your reading to women-empowerment books only. That’s a problem.

*The answer is "c" for those curious.
**His answer was not to worry, it’s just going to slow things down a bit. Slow down! I get pissed when I go to my parent’s house and use a 56K modem when here at work, I have a DSL line.

Jen

You know that you’ve spent way too much time in the studio when: You know all the words, all the harmonies, guitar riffs, drum fills, inverted what-have-you's, sax parts and bass lines. The funny thing is, I’m not even in the band. I just can tell you everything about Spring in Paris and something about being a Kickstand.

I took a lot of polaroids, plus my new favorite photo, which I have entitled, “Emo Mike.” It’s this photo of this old microphone called the Ultra Mike, but the way the photo came out, it looks like it should be on the cover of a Rainer Maria album or something. My other favorite shot is called “Greg watching porn.” We need to get that photo page up and running!!!

Did I mention that I saw way too much porn this weekend?

I also played 3 hours of 10 and 2. It’s a card game that I’m positive no one else has heard of besides Pat and his friends. Anyway, I won about 4 times in a row and it was everyone’s mission to destroy me. My secret to cards is pretend like you don’t care, no matter if you win or lose. When you act that way, even if deep down you want to destroy everyone at cards, watch how people will get pissed at you for not caring. You get comments like, “she’s winning and she doesn’t even care!” You also get people ganging up on you to beat you. That’s when winning is the best, you know, even though I don’t care. ; )

Becky

My ears are ringing. Our fire alarm is officially working. yay!

Jen! You were right! Christopher Guest did play the 6-fingered man in The Princess Bride. He's actually been in alot of stuff.

He kind of reminds me of this guy sometimes.

So my Mom gave me this book that I am totally hooked on right now. However I feel a little silly cause its a book from Oprah's book club. Is that wrong? should I feel bad that I am reading this book because Oprah told my Mom that is was good? How do you guys feel about Oprah and her club?

I wish my ears would stop ringing now.

Miller Lite is by far superior. But it can’t touch Miller High Life.

I’m currently trying to ignore my office mate babbling at me. I’m pretty sure everything he says is a lie. He’s been at it for about 20 minutes. Damn.

I feel like death. I got up at 10:30 a.m. yesterday and have yet to go to sleep. We tracked for 16 hours. I smoked a half pack of cigarettes, drank a pot of coffee and downed 6 beers, three of them between 1 and 3 a.m. When you’re drinking beer at 3 a.m. on a Monday morning, you know you’re headed for trouble.

He’s still talking. Doesn’t he get tired of hearing himself babble? When he says something he thinks is particularly funny he repeats it while simultaneously laughing. None of these statements have ever been funny. They’re usually disturbing.

My tracking went pretty well. I was able to lay down my sax tracks in a reasonable amount of time, and I’ve very happy with my new horn. It sounds like a dream. A good dream, not a nightmare. I also discovered I’m a champ when it comes to laying down backing vocals. I can really hear the pitches in my head and hit ‘em. Who’da thunk it?

Jesus H. Christ!! I don’t want to here about the time you went on tour with the Parliament Funk-a-Delic!!! I find it hard to believe that you did. That period of time is already tied up in three other stories you’ve told me since we moved into this office.

But for future reference three songs is a lot to try and do in 2 days. We were just running low on time. And when you’re low on time, you just feel pressured and it makes it more difficult to do your job correctly. And yes, that was porn on the TV. The studio had a black box, and our hick bass player spent the better part of the weekend watching Spice2 and the Hot Network.

I’m gonna go do some work. But I’m outa here in an hour and a half. I’m gonna get that nap I desperately need.

Becky

So it looks like I am going to be holding down the fort today. One member is currently taking the day off (lucky) while the other member is suffering at work from staying up the entire night at the recording studio and will be leaving after lunch (lucky to leave but sucky to be tired).

Meanwhile I work and work and work and work. I am trying to develop a test to tell me when there is a significant difference between the hardness of rolls. have I mentioned how fun my job is?

The weekend was good lots 'o stuff goin on. here's a short list:
-saw the cubs beat the cards on what I would say was the perfect day for a ball game
-watched "This is Spinal Tap" with the boys
-saw The Promise Ring at a festival surrounded by yuppies
-hung out at the recording studio. was that porn on the tv?
-got drunk in lincoln park and hit on at the meatmarket commonly referred to as "beaumont"
-took a hungover nap in the middle of "High Fidelity"
-other boring stuff which included the making of an excellent dish of pad thai by yours truly.
-got woken up this morning around 5:30 when the boys got back from the recording studio

sorry about the boring list but I guess its a boring day. plus I was thinking this morning about how I lead two different lives depending on who I am with. underneath it all, of course, I am the same person, but I have to switch my mind from talking about the newest jimmy cd to which beer I like better Miller Lite or Bud Lite. (the latter, of course)

Jen

Weekend in approx. 3 ½ hours!

Bill is back from his trip, so that means less blogging. That’s the bad news. The good news is that I have Monday off!!!!!

I’m very excited for the weekend. There will be a little recording, a little photography and a little Ring.

So, on that note, unless I can chime in later, have a good weekend!

PS. Becky- You know that they are "Jimmy" to me and not the abbreviation!

Becky

Okay, so I am a little behind on the times and I just read the rolling stone review for the new jimmy eat world album. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be-although I agree with Mark that there was a little overuse of the word "emo."

I do have to bring up some personal issues right now-I wasn't going to mention this on the blog, but its turning up everywhere! I am urging everybody out there that when the want to abbreviate the name of the above mentioned band, please call them jimmy, okay? It's not that I take personal offense, but it just doesn't sit right with me, especially when there are rolling stone reviewers saying that the acronym will make some "kick ass t-shirts."

if this is too personal or you have a problem please let me know. (these are only my feelings, not that of the whole blog)

Jen

I was going to give my 1-minute review of the show last night, but I think Becky covered it all quite well. One thing she didn’t mention, and maybe that’s because she knows I have a special place in my heart for them: Alkaline Trio. Due to a past feud of sorts, I always had a strong feeling of hatred towards them. Well, maybe not hatred, but an honest disliking of them. Plus, I didn’t like their stuff when I saw them those four years ago. Last night before they went on, I thought that maybe my dislike was so strong and that’s why I didn’t give their music a chance. Um, this theory? Bullshit. They still suck ass. BOO Alkaline Trio!!!! Come on, I think they can write better lyrics than, “I have a big fat fuckin’ bone to pick with you my darling.” Greg, what was the other line from that song? Their music is so bland too. All the other bands had so much more to offer. God, they just piss me off! I think you get my drift.

Yay for Hey Mercedes! Once again, they rocked my lame ass.

Becky

Happy Friday! Can you tell I am in a better mood!

The concert was great last night. Mostly because it made me forget about all of the crappy things that have been going on this week. The show at its moments, too. First was the panic to rush to HOB to make it to Hey Merecedes in time (I love the Cubs, but I blame them for the bad traffice slowing me down). But we made it and only missed the first couple of lines of "bells."

After the first great band I was a little wierded out because the entire HOB seemed to turn into some sort of youth-group gathering and everyone seemed to know all the words and the right times to sing them etc..... the songs were good, but the whole thing was a little strange.......

Can somebody please tell me how old the boys in Saves The Day are?! They were good too, but seriously, how old are they? the singers voice did not look like it would come out of that body! do you know what I am talking about?

anyways, I will stop my ramblings now. but I did think that the get up kids were alot of fun and it was a great show all-together, even though I got accosted by a bum waiting for the el to go home.

Jen

Happy Birthday, Shell! Even though my sister doesn't read this, I'm still going to write it.

3 hours, 20 minutes to go.

Becky

taking it one day at a time. I am ready for some rock and roll to soothe my soul tonight (at 6 pm).

Jen

You guys! I’m sorry about your bad experience at the House of Blues yesterday! I do want to say thanks though; at least we know to show up early. Especially because Alkaline Trio are playing as well. . . Does that mean the HOB will push Hey Mercedes up to 5:30? God, I hope not.

I know why Dylan is not a lap dog. He’s freakin’ huge! Although I was aware of his size before, it was reinforced when he wanted to sleep on my feet/me all night long. I know he misses my parents and that’s why he wants to be all cuddly and everything. Anyway, he did rather well last night- I think he only woke me up three times.

I’m still pretty exhausted though. Part of it has to do with the condition of my parent’s house. Whenever I go to the parent’s in this construction state, or stay there alone, I get this mental picture of the scene from Lethal Weapon 3, I think it is. Danny Glover goes home and the bad guy is waiting for him. They battle with the tools through the construction and Danny finally gets him with a nail gun. Come to think of it, isn’t there another Lethal Weapon where the movie ends in a construction site?

Anyway, here are my main problems, none of which are battling a bad guy with a tile saw.
1) On a majority of windows, there are no blinds or coverings. My room at home is always pretty dark, so I sleep really well. I couldn’t cover any of the window at the parent’s, and I kept waking up. The daylight was deceiving. I didn’t realize how light it is and so early. I got up at five thirty-ish because it seemed like the right about of daylight to wake up too. I did it again at 6:15.
2) The condition of the bathrooms: I can take a shower up stairs, but the sink doesn’t work and there is no door. I can use the sink in the downstairs bathroom, but there are no walls, a small amount of light and no mirror. I brushed my teeth in the kitchen.
3) Dust: there is dust everywhere. It’s not like normal dust, but dust from sanding dry wall. It’s terrible.
4) Beds: There is one bed. It is covered with crap, such as dog hair, dust and plastic. It would take too much work to make it a pleasant sleeping environment. If I get home early enough tonight, I may try it. I slept on the couch. Ten minutes into sleeping. I noticed a lump. My dog tried to bury a bone in the couch cushions.

One more night, thank god. I’m a huge baby when it comes to sleep. What I mean by this is that it needs to be good sleep or I can be an evil person. Trust me.

Becky

Okay, I had this whole blog written about how I hate this guy at work. I usually don't like writing about people at work in case they ever find out about this. When my computer froze and I lost the whole thing I took that as a sign to continue to not post about people at work.

Lets just say that today blows and I can't wait to get out of here and I don't understand why people can be such arseholes and take pleasure in making other feel like crap. nuff said.

hope your day is better than mine. but as my mom always says....This too shall pass.

Jen

This is the perfect weather for backbends!

Yeah, tell that to my back. Whenever Crazy Mary does an adjustment, be prepared for pain. I was pretty shocked when I heard my back crack, but amazingly, after yoga class, my back felt awesome! I’ve been in two really bad car accidents in my life, neither of which were my fault, and my back has paid the price ever since. I have pictures from my one car accident where my car flipped over. If only I could post them, the car was trashed. Ugh.

Tonight the adventure begins. I get to stay at my P’s and watch my dog, which means long-ass commute in the morning, and living in a house that is half way under construction.* Also, I just know my dog is going to keep me up all night long as usual. I want to get plenty of rest so that I can thoroughly enjoy the show tomorrow.

I have some things I want to get done tonight, such as pick up a $6.99 CD, get a tube for shipping, get the oil changed in my car, get keys made for G, the new roomie, and go out to dinner. I know my parents want me to stay and hang out with the dog and all, but really, I’d like to get stuff done. I feel bad too, because almost all day tomorrow, he’ll be alone. I have work and the show, so we won’t get any Jen/Dylan time until I get back. My dog needs a lot of attention. He’s like a person, except for the fact that he’s a dog. Whatevs.

Oh, yeah! PMS tea! I think we also wanted to get the guys pregnancy tea . . .

*My parents have been remodeling the house for my sister and her husband who will be buying the house and moving in once the P’s leave. For about two weeks, there was no running water, and a bunch of the rooms have no walls. Actually, when I spoke to my mom last night, she told me not to use the oven, due to some gas leak that may have happened when the oven was rehooked up, and the cable isn't working. The good news is that there is now a working shower!

Hey Jen,

remember? the PMS tea? The yoga tea looked very interesting. I have decided to try out a number of these teas, but not until is gets cold out.

ps-don't tell Katz he has jean capris or he will call you an ass all day long.

Jen

I’ll have the cubby wubby womb room tea.

Since everyone is giving Bob recommendations on what to take for pneumonia, I say go for the cubby wubby, or just say it, because it makes me feel better when I say it.

Yes, I quote So I Married an Axe Murderer way too much. I just love that movie!

Becky and I got a chance to look over all the teas at Whole Foods before Yoga yesterday. I remember laughing at tea names, but now I can’t remember what we were laughing at. It may have been from my above favorite quote, I can’t remember. Anyway, hopefully the throat coat tea she bought will help the guys prepare for the big recording weekend.* There is no tea for photographers, so I guess I’ll just have to deal.

This morning, on the L, I ran into Barb, which happens well, never, because she starts way earlier than I. I’m sitting there, and the next thing I know, she’s in the seat next to me, laughing hysterically. At first, I freaked out, because I didn’t realize what was happening or who she was, because I’m usually in my own world. Then I too start laughing. So, we stopped for coffee and a muffin at Dunkin’ Donuts and then had elevator races to the top floor. That’s how every work morning should start: with a muffin and elevator races. I won.

*And help Becky and I prepare for male capris . . .

i was expecting more ice cream and less social at this ice cream social

well, i was.

my brother beat me in wiffle-ball again yesterday. and i gave up the winning run in the bottom of the third (the last inning) yet again. i really want to beat him. but he's got me figured out. if you wanna shut down my wiffle-ball offense just pitch me inside. I can’t even touch a pitch in there.

this is a busy week here. tapas food tonight at the lovely Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba! tomorrow i rock to the sweet soulful sounds of the vagrant tour. do you think they'll cover some usher or destiny's child? friday begins the 3 day recording extravaganza and monday morning the regrets begin.

back to work, or whatever you call this thing i'm doing.

Becky

Okay, if you haven't seen this movie then go see it now and you will know what I was talking about yesterday.

You know when you start to get older and you realize what kind of influence your parents had on you with things like your sense of humor? I realize this more and more when I look at movies that I love now, like Spies Like Us, any Mel Brooks movie especially Young Frankenstien, The Pink Panther, Some Like it Hot, and so on and so fourth. When it comes down to it, my parents are cheeseballs (or spaceballs for that matter) and so am I.

Hey, Bob, I hope you got a Z-pack cuz that baby kicked the pants of the pnemonia that I had last year.

Tonight=tapas=goat cheese and sangria=yummy=happy

Jen

Becky, What movie is your quote from? I have no idea!

Mailboxes Etc., eh? I will be home on Wednesday to watch the pooch. I may stop over there.

Greg, you guys definitely have to practice because you know how I like to heckle bands. . .

Como esta? Muy bien, y tu? Estoy excellente! Gracias!

I could be wrong, but I think scottie’s quote is from the mtv taxi-cab driver. Brian’s is beyond my meager abilities.

I’m heading to the house of blues to pick up a Thursday vagrant ticket for my friend annie. Anyone else need one?

I wish you were allowed to drink beer and take naps at work, but then I guess it wouldn’t be work. I turned down two tickets to see the Buena Vista Social Club tonight at Ravinia because I have to practice. But I need the practice. My band is recording this weekend (and camping out in Beck’s apartment) so I must be at my best. The jazz hipsters would say I’m gonna wood-shed tonight. But I’m not a jazz hipster. And I don’t think I want to be one.

Rock over champaign.

hey jen, what about mailbox etc. or whatever that place is called. I'm not sure where theres one in the city but I know theres one right by the g-mans house in the ridge.

Becky

I like this movie quote thing, although I am not as good as I would like to be. I like to think its because I am more of an audio/visual person than a words person even though I know thats B.S. and doesn't even make any sense.

Here's one of my favorite movie quotes:

Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor........Doctor (sexy voice a la Chevy Chase), Doctor (sexy voice a la Donna Dixon)... Doctor, Doctor.

I threw that quote out at work today and NO ONE got it-and it was even funny cause we recently got all these people named Bob in management positions....oh nevermind. am I the only one that knows this?

Jen

Does anyone know where I can get a packaging tube for a poster? I looked at the obvious Jewel and Walgreens and found nothing. Do I have to go to the dreaded post office?

Jen

Ever since I started this quote thing, I have challenges from all over the blog. I’ll work on it, although my brain is moving very, very slow today. Do you two have any ideas?

Just for your information, I don’t like the Scooby Snacks song except for the line where they say “the drummer form Def Leppard only had one arm.” I giggle like a schoolgirl. I’m not going to go out and buy an album from them or anything like that.

Today, I feel like I’ve been doing all sorts of “hook-ups” over e-mail. Let’s see, I got Jason’s address so I can ship out the poster, I got Kai’s address so I can send his Chicago shirt out, I’m trying to set up a friend of mine at my sister’s work and I sent some of Jason’s (another Jason than the above) stuff to Jon, plus, I’m trying to arrange for people to say goodbye to Ken later tonight. He leaves tomorrow at noon for Tokyo. Bah! Do I spend too much time on e-mail?

Two more days, not counting today, to the Vagrant show! Who’s excited?

is there room in this bed for a dang-burn fool?

what a day, what a day.

Every so often I send out this report to everyone in the company. Our company’s pretty big so probably 1000 people get it, maybe more. I sent out this report yesterday, but I made two little mistakes on it. And guess what was waiting for me this morning. That’s right, an email from our CFO telling me I messed up. Then I had to have a meeting with my supervisor about how I messed up and then a meeting with my supervisor’s supervisor about how I messed up and then another meeting with my supervisor. I know I messed up. I promise to staple the cover on the front of the TPS reports from now on!! Actually I just misspelled one guy’s name and said another was from France when he was really from Frankfurt. I didn’t even misspell the guy’s name, I just failed to spot that someone else misspelled it. Arrrgghhh!!!

For lunch I had two hot dogs, chicago-style of course, and a tall cold frosty one. Thank god for tall cold frosty one’s.

Am I the only one living vicariously through marc’s posts? I gotta get out of this town.

And I hate that fun lovin’ criminals song. It reminds me of the horror that was freshman year of college.

And I love Pete and Pete. I wish I had a tattoo of a half-naked women on my arm

ps-Pete and Pete was a great, great show. do you remember when the elder pete was on that commercial for some on-line trading company?

Jen, I think that its the Fun Lovin' Criminals who are from New York but I had never heard of them until I went to England of all places and that song was huge.

well, I have signed up for the cable but of course they gave me an installation date for like a tuesday between 9-12 even though I requested friday afternoon, but whatever. trying to call them to change the date is a nighmare. a nightmare!

It could be worse, it could be raining.

Jen

I’m hot, sticky sweet. From my head to my feet.

Becky- you got that cable offer too from AT&T? So, until the end of December, is $21.00 and then they raise the price to like what- $100 a month or something? See, you don’t know, because they don’t tell you. That's how they get you! Anyway, it’s worth my time for the next four months. . . How I miss my Behind the Music!!!! I swear, I used to watch it all the time. Of course, I also used to get minimal amounts of work done, especially when VH1 would have three in a row.

Speaking of VH1, has anyone seen Hysteria, the story of Def Leppard? Not to be mean, but do they really deserve a made for cable movie? So, the drummer from Def Leppard only had one arm,* he, he, so what! We all know how hard the drum part is it to the above quoted song.** I can even do the drum part to pour some sugar on me. Fine, I’m still going to watch it. You caught me.

*Running around, robbing banks all wacked on the scooby snacks? Isn’t that line in this song? Who wrote it, The Bloodhound Gang?
**Meaning pour some sugar on me, not the Scooby Snacks song. Although, I can’t imagine it being that hard either.

Becky

Suffering Bastered. A name for a drink that you would only find at the tikki bar. I just thought of that cause I was calling AT&T a bastered (yes, its spelled wrong on purpose) for keeping me on hold for so long. all I want is my special $20/month cable until december okay?!

Last night I had three beers with dinner. but its okay because they were coronitos that I got by accident when I ran to osco when I found out that the restaurant I was at was byob. have you seen these things? the baby coronas? they are so cute! I mean as cute as a beer bottle could get anyways.

Rosa's new favorite toy: a ball of aluminum foil. she's such an economical cat. its great!

Jen

I figured that since I read these blogs all the time, there might as well be a link to them. Check it out.

Jen

Items missing from apt. this weekend:
Hand soap-dispensers from both bathroom and kitchen
Power strip- one that plugs in stereo/TV/VCR
Shower curtain

Once again, I did not buy these items, so I can’t bitch about their absence. I just think it’s odd how one day you have a shower curtain, the next day you don’t, you know?

The 70’s party was excellent. I was not the only one dressed up, which was good. There were only a few guys in 70’s gear, while most of us ladies had the full outfits on. If anyone can pull off a party where people actually show up dressed up, it’s Brian and Eugene. I know one time, Tim wanted to have a Superheroes vs. Professional Wrestlers Party, and if it wasn’t for his accident*, I’d have to be Wonder Woman or something like that.

Pat’s gallery show at the Mission turned out well too. That was my first time there. Hmmm, I think I may go back there. . . never. It’s just not my thing. Too many flashing lights, smoke and weird guys in tank tops. And they water down the drinks. . . “Is there any Vodka in this Cranberry juice?”

This week, I will once again be dog-sitting, my neurotic, but loveable dog, Dylan. The P’s will be heading back out to Nevada- AKA Viva las Vegas! – to check up on the house and make sure that everything is going ok. Anyway, expect some stories on Thursday!

*Thank god he is OK. Old people should not be allowed to drive.

wrap and freezer bags, i wish i won!

OKplusthree home of thousands of movie quotes. just search our extensive database

a somewhat uneventful weekend. beck drove me out to south bend and i am now the proud owner of a shiny gold baritone saxaphone. i'd tell you the brand and stuff, but i'm sure you don't care.

i wish i was home right now.

oh my god! It is him! I knew that guy looked familier in the commercials for that show! thanks jen!

ps-good quotes! much more difficult! I think that I could free up some freezer bags and wrap for the prize!

Jen

Wow, I should have contests all the time! That is how you get e-mail in this world! So, Jason, of The King’s Nuts fame, guessed everything right and wrote me first. Here are the quotes again and the answers just FYI:

“Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. No, minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be alright." -Office Space

"Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him."
-Wedding Singer

"I'm drawing a line. Men or mice, what'll it be?"
-Three Amigos

"I don't envy the headache you'll have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women."
-The Princess Bride

"I got news for you pal. You ain't leavin’ but two things right now, Jack and Shit, and Jack left town."
-Army of Darkness

I had plans to give hints and everything. . . Are these not hard enough? Anyway, the prize is the Fugazi poster and something extra, which I have not decided upon yet. Maybe Becky can throw in some cool stuff from work or something.

Back in a bit.

PS. Becky, you can now see that same MTV Cab driver on Grounded for Life on Fox. It's actually a pretty funny show- I think it's on Wednesday nights.

Becky

Well Jen, its a good thing we did not bring our demontration to the Real World house or we could have gotten arrested!

But enough on that it's silly.

I was excited watching M2 yesterday cause they have that whole 20 years of MTV thing going on, so they are showing old commercials for MTV including one of my favorite series of commercials-the greasy cab driver in boston. I love that guy-he's hilarious! He did this one impression of alanis morrisete's video of "ironic" ( you know where she is all those different characters in the car) and he goes "what if you met the girl of your dreams and she was 5." Classic. I love that guy.

gotta go get reviewed. wish me luck.

Jen

Here’s the deal. Here are five quotes from five different movies. If you can guess all five, just the movies, not the person who said it, I’ll send you the poster and a little something extra. If you get three out of five, you just get the poster. Here is a brief description of the Fugazi poster: It’s red. It has Fugazi, Shellac and The EX printed on it. It was coolly designed by Jon Resh. It will be a great addition to your home. Ok, time for the quotes.


“Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. No, minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be alright."

"Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him."

"I'm drawing a line. Men or mice, what'll it be?"

"I don't envy the headache you'll have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women."

"I got news for you pal. You ain't leavin’ but two things right now, Jack and Shit, and Jack left town."


E-mail me with your answers. I’ll repost the quotes on Monday.

Also, e-mail Greg and tell him he’s a _____* for not going out tonight.

* Your choice of degrading word here.

Jen

Yesterday, I’m on the Blue Line going to Pat’s house. Joey Ramone* gets on and takes an open seat next to this older black lady right by the doors. Anyway, she keeps giving him the nastiest looks ever, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head. Right before the UIC-Halsted stop, she gets up and stands by the doors, still making the same faces. Then I start noticing this smell; a strong BO kinda thing. At the stop, right before she gets off, she says, “You stink! Take a shower!” Joey completely ignores her. This is the kicker- you think the lady would walk towards an exit or something once she is on the platform. But no! She stands at the window near his seat, still making the faces and mouthing stuff like, “you smell.” She is doing this until the L pulls away.

Tonight, I’m going to a 70’s theme party. I usually have big problems with theme parties, especially ones where you have to dress up. I remember one time, some friends had an 80’s party. Well, Bora** and I took all this time to dress up in 80’s gear and we get there, and approx. three people are dressed up. I even think that of the three, one always dresses like that.***

My problem is, I don’t want to go through the trouble just to be the only one there wearing 70’s clothes. Of course, when I looked through my closet, I found a skirt that would qualify for the party. The crazy thing is that I wear it to work. Hmmm. Am I as bad as 80’s girl?

Tomorrow, Pat will have some of his photos up at the Mission gallery in Elgin. We despise the Mission, because of the hoochie patrol that roams the grounds, but the guy who runs the gallery there just would not let my friends and Pat off the hook. So if you are in Elgin, you can visit me, look at some photos by Pat, Kevin and Pat W., and then hang with the hoochie patrol.

*He was a gooney-looking, tall and skinny guy with long black hair. A close look-alike.
**My old roommate from two years ago and good friend.
***I saw her at another one of their parties and she had an 80’s outfit on then too.

Becky "I give myself an A+" Giesfeldt

That's right. I think that I am doing a great job and that I should get a huge raise and a promotion and my own office with a window.

How does that sound for a personal review? Do you think its a little too much? Should I tone it down?

Gotta get my form in by 12:30. have a good one.

Jen

This penis party’s got to go, hey hey, ho ho.

This is what we are going to chant in front of the Real World house. Anyone want to join us?

Anyway, I’m still working on trying to get a good quote so that people can guess at, one that is harder than this one and the one from yesterday. AND, I have thought of a prize. When I met Jon, he gave me three Fugazi posters; one for Pat, one for me and one extra. I really don’t need two, so if you guess my movie quote, which will hopefully be posted before I leave work, you can have the poster. Deal?

More later. I have a blue line story for you.

yowzers!!

i was walking to work along the river today when a seagull flew by with a crawfish attached to its chest. it wasn't eating the crawfish or anything, the crawfish was just grabbing its chest with it's claw. the seagull was flying around all crazy like and i got a little scared when it came near me. finally it flew up to a height of 40 feet and the crawfish let go, plummeting to river below.

how's that for excitement at 8 in the morning?

tiki'd last night. fruitty drinks for everyone. plus i won at hearts.

Jen

So, true. I'll think of a better quote and blog it tomorrow.

Becky- I think the folks in CA need to take the Defensive Driving Course like Bill and I took yesterday.

Jen-I love your quote, but I think its too easy!!!!! what's that? something about ocular cavities? grody!

Jen

Hello everyone, I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers here at Alcatraz were at one time guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky. Will you please follow me.

Last night, I saw "You don’t know Jack", and I really like Paul Reubens in it. He’s very funny; it’s strange because it’s a game show. Most game shows aren’t funny. That’s why he’s 80’s star of the month! Do you guys remember when Phil Hartman was the mailman on PeeWee Herman’s Playhouse? I love Phil Hartman. Look at above quote. Do you know where this is from? If you know and e-mail me where it's from, I'll send you something. I haven't figured out what yet- but something. And it won't be crap.

I just had lunch with Ken, and I got to see all of his photos of South America. He had this one photo of a plaza in Columbia, and we played “spot the Americans.” Do you know how you win at this game? Look for a Jansport backpack or a baseball hat. If you want to play “spot the Europeans” just look for crazy colored backpacks/clothes. Or the weird guy with sandals and pink shorts. Ten bucks says he from Vienna.*

It looks like the Hala Kahiki is calling tonight. I could use a fruity drink with a plastic palm tree, especially after my “gross and hot” experience this morning.

I’m wearing this long skirt that is a bit constricting when it comes to walking. I have to exert twice as much energy than with a normal skirt. So, this morning, when I realized that I might be late, I had to pseudo-run to the L. Pat’s place isn’t all that close, especially when it’s humid like today. Then, when I finally get there, I happen to get on a car that is not air conditioned, so it’s gross and hot. I get off the L and the subway is gross and hot, so basically, by time I got to work, I was gross and hot.

Do you remember when you were younger and you said grody instead of gross? Like, “Eeew! That’s so grody!”

Wow, this whole blog is all over the place.

PS-No Bill the boss man savage tomorrow.**

*When I lived in England, I constantly came across a guy with this outfit. He had a German/Austrian accent from what I could guess, so, now, as a joke, I associate Austrians with this outfit.
** Yes, when I was younger, I used to watch wrestling.

Becky

well here I am. I had something funny to say that was related to the patent searching that I am doing, but that thought has escaped me along with every other useful thoughts in my head right now.

One funny thing I got yesterday was an email full of "office dares" which is really only funny if you work in an office. there are 1 and 3 point dares-here's a couple funny ones. more to come later, maybe.

1-point
-Walk sideways to the copy machine.
-Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
3-point
-Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
-Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
-Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

Hey-you get some good comedy when you read this blog!! Not to mention the exciting and quick-paced trivia games.

answer for today: 53% of drivers stop at stop signs where there are pedestrians in the crosswalk. (how is someone not killed like every 2 seconds from that? I think that the average american must be a pretty good runner....)

so much work, so much failure

after my hour long train and bus ride into evanston, they didn't have anything i liked. i was so disappointed. the two horns in my price range were okay, but nothing spectacular. they had a black lacquer B&S that looked awesome and played pretty well, but it was a mere five grand. i'm not rich, so i'm not paying 5 grand for a pretty good horn. in fact, i'm not paying 5 grand. the new plan is to load in becky's jetta or my truck, whichever we feel like, and head to south bend, indiana on saturday. it's only an hour and a half away and they have a huge selection of horns so hopefully it will be a success.

i hurt my neck sleeping on the el this morning. ow.

i have to stop not doing work. i'm gonna get fired. oh well.

Becky

Okay, I'll be the first one to say it. Whats the deal with Hotmail?

I'm not really happy with this new format, although I like how the "bulk mail" folder now has a proper title of "junk mail." I have all those stupid filters set up, yet is seems like everyday I am still getting messages about debt consolidation, viagra for men and women, and how I can make $20,000 at home in a week. If only that was true........

I saw some interesting trivia this morning. some study at UCLA found that fewer than 25% of drivers stopped at stop signs when there were no pedestrians in the crosswalk. What?! are these people in California on crack? (no offense if you live there, but come on people-follow the rules of the road, please!!) I am finding this number very hard to believe.

can you guys guess what the percentage was for stopping when there were pedestrians?

Jen

In a defensive driving test, I got 11 out of 15 right.

That sucks.

Bill made a left hand turn out of the middle lane on Jackson, so now he has to take internet driving school. We took a pretest together and still only managed to get 11 right. For instance, What do you do if you are about to be in a head on collision? My answer was “get the hell out of the way.” Bill’s was “duck.” After much conversing back and forth, we decided on “reduce speed”, even though, if I had the choice, I would answer, don’t be in a head on collision. They suck. I know.

Ok, why can’t I get the Gorillaz mulirmedia thing to work? When I downloaded the program, it goes into code on MS Word. If you know how to get Murdoc’s Winnebago site to work with the CD, please write me. Thanks.

gotta go!!

i'm off on a complicated trek to somewhere in evanston. wish me luck!! i'd blog later, but i can't remember my password so i can only blog from this computer where it's saved. have a good night!!

Becky

I repeat: It's scary outside.

I had to leave the office for an appointment earlier this afternoon and not only did the weather suck and make my hair like 5X the normal size, when I was pulling back into the parking lot at work there were like 7-10 canadian geese standing in the middle of the drive, staring me down. We had a staring contest for about a minute when I got mad and went for the horn and they scattered.

Needless to say, I was a little worried about the aftermaths of pissing off the geese so I ran into the building. Of course this was all much to the amusement of the already crazed shipping and receiving guy who already calls me "Miss Goosefeldt." Now its never going to stop.

Jen

Humidity blows.

Speaking of things blowing, I saw an article on MSN with the title “MTV turns 20: Is it losing its edge?” I’d like to pose the question of “What edge?”

I’m not here* to rip on MTV’s stupid, overrated, television shows, the constant programming rather than videos and the repetition of Britney Spears/Backdoor, um pardon, Backstreet Boy-esque variety of videos, that is, when videos are actually played. I just think that if you are going to name a station “Music Television,” play what you advertise, which in this case is music. Not the Real World 15, not Road Rules, but music videos.

I have now stepped down from my soapbox. Look what you started! Kidding! : )

Yoga went well yesterday, besides the fact that it was so hot in there. The humidity and the heat makes stretching easier. Maybe that was why Mary kept telling Becky how much better her hamstrings were as opposed to 2 years ago.**

Pat finally installed a small a/c unit in his apartment. Good news? It’s much cooler. Bad news? It only really cools the living room. The kitchen is close to unbearable, especially with the oven on. I love warm weather, I love Chicago summers, but the humidity can take a long walk off a short pier. Get it?

*or maybe I am.
**We haven’t been going to Yoga for two years. So basically, the joke Crazy Mary made here was her hamstrings were so tight before that it took her that long to stretch them out. Maybe you just had to be there.

Becky

It's scary outside.

I just recieved a fedex with a package of rolls inside. I love my job.

Becky

I think that MTV has reached a new low. Not that TRL was really boosting its credibility and to be honest with you I don't even have cable right now so I don't even watch it (except for M2 which plays jimmy videos so they are OK).

Today I ventered into MTV.com to check out the cast of the Real World 10 (I think). This is because there is a girl from Orland Park in it and my little sister swears she looks "familier" and that I "have to go see what she looks like." I checked out the cast and of course I have no idea who she is. but I started poking around on the site anyways. Not only is there a description of ever episode, pictures and a live "cam" in the house, there is also the "hook up report" which goes through every episode and describes what cast members and doing what to other cast members. Then there is a section where they talk about all of the love interests of the cast, be it outside or inside the house with little hearts next to the name of the person. I want to puke.

Okay this is almost too dumb to post but I am going to do it anyways in the spirit of blogging.

ps-I was a little nervous at yoga last night cause it was the first week we went after the "yelling incident," but crazy mary was in top form and must have forgotten about the whole thing.

Becky

Take a shower, please!!! please!!!

There is this guy here at work, actually there are two guys here at work who are the kind of people that you can tell when they have been in the room in the last five minutes CAUSE IT STINKS!!!

It sounds mean, and I am not expecting people to smell like roses everyday but this is ridiculous. ridiculous.

okay, I am done ranting and its time to go home now. I hope that you out there never become that stinky when I know that you make plenty of money to keep yourself clean. soap is cheaper than fixing up old cars. maybe not as fun, but cheaper.

hello and good morning to you

sorry about not posting yesterday, i was in a foul mood. but i'm feeling better so that's good.

tomorrow is the glorious day when i get to spend way too much money on a brand new saxophone and mouthpiece for my playing pleasure. it was a pain when my sax was stolen last month, but in a way it was kind of a good thing. my horn had fallen into serious disrepair and i was lusting after a new one anyway. so this way the insurance company gives me what i paid for the sax (way more than it's currently worth) and i get to kick in some of my own money and get something that i really like. i'll be happy for like a week. and then i'll be back here bitching about how much i miss my old sax. but that week will be grand.

anyone ever rode the purple line in evanston? i'm about to. exciting isn't it?

me and beck decided where we're going to stay when we make a trip to see those glorious red sox and those awful orioles (cal ripkin is divine, however). we'll be staying here. it looks nice and it's close to everything we want to do, so it should be fun.

if you read this and you're in boston, email me.

if you read this and you're alive, email me.

can you tell i want some email?

y’all come back now ya here!!

Jen

Items Missing from apartment:
Day 1: Bottle of Windex
Bottle of Mr. Clean
Dish scrubbing brush
Day 2: Misc. Candles
Basket to hold Magazines*
Blue bathroom rug
Floor length mirror

None of these items are mine, so obviously it’s ok if they are gone. This is the order that I noticed them missing over a couple of days. These items are not only replaceable, but in a way, I’m glad some are gone. I hated that blue bathroom rug! There are three items on the above list that make absolutely no sense that they were taken in the first place. Can you guess which three? Anyway, that is what happens when someone moves out and someone new moves in.

I’m feeling better today, a lot better. I had a nice relaxing evening at home with Pat, so basically, the usual.

Exciting news? Ken, my very lovable Japanese friend, is back in Chicago from his South American travels. Unfortunately, he goes home to Tokyo next week, so I’d like to make this last week count. Why does everyone I care about move out of the freakin’ state?!?!?!

Ok, I’m off to have lunch with Seth. Hopefully, I’ll be back later**. Bill is gone again on Friday for business, so I’ll have five glorious days of guilt free blogging.

*Magazines once contained in the basket were located in a heap on the floor until I threw almost all of them away, except of course, my prized collection of favorite Onions, a few really good Spin magazines and all five of my Truly Tasteless Joke Books- they happened to be gifts. They also happen to be a guilty pleasure of mine. Some of the jokes are just so bad, but so funny.
**I'll definitly be at work later, but maybe not blogging.

Becky

Who is your favorite supporting character?

Ralph Wiggum is ahead with 82% (versus Martin).

Okay, so this week is a little slow and I found this on the wire yesterday and its great! Simpsons characters head to head in a tournament set to rival March Madness.

The car is fixed! and although Miguel forgot to pick me up from work so I ended up waiting almost an hour for him, they gave the car a nice wash which was very much needed.

Becky

I'll give you a regulator!

Okay, not you, but my car's driver's side window so that it can actually go up again. I'm getting crap from work that I should trade my little VW in for some "american made car" but I say no way.

Friday was actually a big day for my car. I also made a little visit to circuit city to get a 12 disk CD changer installed and it is suh-weet. 12 disks at once! You can put them all on random!

There is a wierdness in the air today. I smelled it on the way to work. although maybe that was because my window was all the way down and the corn mill in Argo was going full-steam ahead. I know this smell well-my pops used to work there so you can blame it on him.

I'm going to go back to visit Barbie again this weekend-I like those jello shots! Plus, I want fashion tips!

Jen

You are always welcome in this club. Put a dollar on Barbie’s tray.

Eeek. Men over a certain age should not be allowed to dress in drag. Also, never refer to oneself in the third person. Especially if you call yourself Barbie, and have an accent that is undistinguishable.

I don’t think I feel like typing a lot today. I’m in a crappy mood. Super sized crappy mccrap. I’m also in an argumentative mood. When I was going through the bills here at the office this morning, I saw some charges on our phone bill that didn’t seem right. Well, even though Monday is peak calling time, I waited the 6 minutes on hold just so I could have the chance to tear some poor, defenseless, AT&T operator a new one. He was so nice though, and helped me out, so I couldn’t even yell at him. Bah.

My hopes are that I’ll feel better after lunch. I hate waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Grrrr.

Becky

I am a riding machine.

25 miles on a late saturday night? No problemo! The LATE ride is great time (except for my knees the day after-who knew I had such weak knees?). There was even a love story to go along with the LATE ride this year-a couple met 2 years ago at the ride, got engaged last year at the ride, and then (guess what?) married this year on the day of the ride. We rode past them and the wife had a veil on her helmet and the husband had a bow tie and stuff on. I wonder if they wore that to the ceremony?

Summer is half way over! What's up with that?!

M2 rules. saw the "Bleed American" video this morning. excellent. supposedly they were playing a rufus w. video coming up afterwards, but someone had to go take their car to the dealership. stupid windows.

Jen

My first Saturday post ever! I'm not going to write much, but I wanted the blog to know how much I love it.

BFF!

Jen

Greg, KIT is another yearbook favorite that you forgot. People you knew would never actually “keep in touch” with you or you with them, for that matter, would write this. Example: "Jenny*, social studies with Mr.Bidlack was so cool! KIT over the summer! Heart, Erica". Where is Erica now? I'd love to know.

Anyway, I had lunch with Jon from Viper Press. I was all worried that something would blow up in my face, due to the day and my very superstitious nature. It turned out fine, besides the fact that I was out to lunch a little longer than planned. Jon’s a really cool guy. I also have some extra reading to do now; among other cool stuff, he gave me a copy of Amped. Go pick up a copy.

So, I’m sure by now you’ve guessed the band from my clues. Now, for the official announcement . . .

Ok Plus Three Band/Artist of the Month: Travis.

Go England!**

Ok, I’ll try to blog later, but I have to get some work done. My lunch was a little extended, and I can’t play around anymore! Seriously!

Monday, or later today, or maybe when you least expect it, I’ll give some hints about our featured 80’s star.

Did I hear someone say mash potato?***

*As I liked to be called back then, meaning Jr. High/beginning of high school.
**Yes, I know Travis are from Scotland. Scotland is technically apart of England and I lived in England. You get it.
***This is not a clue. But everytime you hear someone say "mash potato," you can scream real loud.****
****This is a clue.

Becky

Sometimes I wonder where I would be without the blog...... I don't know how I would make it through the work day! although it might involve making things out of plastic wrap cause I have like 2 cases of the crap under my desk and nobody wants any of it.

Anyways, back to funny stories. I was trying to be polite and make conversation with the shipping and recieving guy (who by the way is completely insane) when he was walking though the office yelling at us for not working like he always does, how sweet.

Me: It's Friday the 13th today!
Guy: what does that mean? is it PMS day?
Me: (stunned, trying to think of something to say) of course, that's everyday

and he walks away. as soon as he leaves the entire room cracks up-who says that? I could get that guy fired in a second! The funny part is that I have been in a really good mood today-as far away from PMS as possible.

with a turn and a twist, we both get pissed

in celebration of jenn's abbreviations, i hereby devote this post to my favorite yearbook signings.

BFF-Best Friends Forever. ahhh, my favorite. what would a 7th grade yearbook look like if this abbreviation didn't exist? i don't think i want to know. do people who use this ever stay best friends?

STS-Stay the Same. this was always a weaker signature. how likely was it that i was going to change between now and next fall? but yearbook signings always had that feeling of finality, so maybe they were just trying to give some advise.

KA-Kick Ass, as in 'have a KA summer!!' i never really had a KA summer, mine were always more KB (kick butt), but i was a loser so you shouldn't expect much.

(555)555-5555. the phone number. these people who i was merely cordial with would always put their phone number in my yearbook with the comment 'call me some time this summer!!' what are the chances i would be leafing through my yearbook in july and suddenly decide to call susie q.?

anybody know anymore? let me know.

my office-mate always listens to electronica music here at work. they always play a 2-step version of the gorillas which is okay. they also play some radiohead dance remixes. pretty cool, but very bizarre.

i'm outa here at three and then off to the mashed potato club. should be a rollicking good time.

Jen

Friday the 13th. Oh . . . scary.*

This morning, I had to move my car, due to street cleaning, and ended up parking all the way over by the Addision brown line stop. This day is already messing with me. Of course, as karma works, although I’m not sure how it works today, something good happens for every bad thing. So. . .

Guess who isn’t moving!?

COE** confronted the WPODC** and took the lease back. He didn’t sign it anyway. So, I picked up the new lease. Party at my house as soon as Gant moves in!!!!

Last night at Fizz, we decided on the Band/Artist of the Month. This band makes us sing, sing, sing and also turn, turn, turn. Any guesses?

*I am not saying this to taunt you Friday, although it does sound like it.
**I’m sure this is a bit confusing. COE is Crazy old Ernie and the WPODC is my downstairs neighbor who I like to call a walking piece of donkey crap. Refer to past blogs of this week for the entire story.

Becky

Okay, everybody I am back (but not for long). Yesterday I actually worked all day long and pretty hard at that if you ask me. Also our server was down, so the blogging was not going to happen.

Anyways, I will get to the point: the billboard. One person knew the answer but they had already seen the board. Here's what it says:

Maximize your potential, Minimize your wardrobe.
Consider joining the Priesthood.

Thats right, there is a big marketing campaign to get all you boys out there to become priests. Luckily I am a girl so I don't have to worry about succombing to their marketing ploys, but I am thinking about countering with some sort of ad about how cool it is to be a rabbi.

Happy Friday!

Speaking of wierd commercials that no one else remembers.....I had a vision last night of this Domino's Pizza commercial for buffalo wings where there was an actual buffalo flying around (okay the buffalo wasn't real, but thats what they were trying to do). It looked pretty funny. anyone else remember?

Jen

Hey Becky, where are the clues?

greg

i don't feel right. do you ever not feel right? i don't feel right, so i won't.

Jen

Woman (eating crappy cereal): Where are you from?
Man (in early 1900’s dress, with barrel of grains): I’m from a time when grains were kept whole.

I swear, no one remembers this commercial. After I read this, I figured that I would bring out this obscure Great Grains cereal commercial that everyone thinks I’m making up. I swear to god it exists!!

The apartment saga continues. I am so sick of talking about it. To make an extremely long argument short, basically, COE upset me so much on the phone yesterday that he made me cry. After he told me that he rented our place to the guy downstairs, instead of the married couple, I just got so mad at him! He said we could have it back if the married couple didn’t want it. So we argued for close to 40 minutes, until I finally broke down. It wasn’t all his fault or anything. I had a stressful day at work, and when I got home, I had an argument with a friend, so COE just broke me. My last sobbing line was: “Fine, I’ll be out on the 31st, but please fix the air because it’s hot in here!” Of course, right afterwards, I call Pat, and I’m just so pissed off and so upset.

While I am on the phone with Pat, Ernie calls back. He tells me that he’s sending someone over to fix the air. Then he asks me about Gant. Then next thing I know he says:

COE: There may be a chance to get your place back. The guy downstairs* hasn’t paid his rent for two months.
Me: You would rather rent our place to a WPODC who hasn’t paid the rent, than Marisa and I who send it to you early every month**?”
COE: If I call your place tomorrow, and leave a message regarding this, you better call me back.
Me: You’re dealing with me now, and I will call you back.

So we may have it, we may not. I almost don’t know if I care anymore, I just want it to end!

No more yelling! Please!

*now called by me, walking piece of donkey crap, or WPODC.
**This is not horse shit. We send out the rent by the 25th every month.

Becky

Okay, its time for another guessing game.

I saw a very very bizzare billboard last night when I was driving back into the city on 290-I almost think it was a dream right now. anyways, its for something that you would never ever ever think would advertise in such a manner.

Here's what it said and your job is to guess what it is for:

Maximize your potential. Minimize your wardrobe.

hints to follow.

ps-you know you are a grownup when.....you get really excited about buying a spicerack.

Jen

Hey Madam Fortuneteller, what do you see?*

I know what I see, no apartment!

Kidding, I know I’ll find something. I just didn’t want to move.

As for the Bomb-itty last night, it was really good and extremely funny. Especially for free! Marisa had free tickets. It was odd to see Shakespeare in rap, but they did it so well. Go see it! It’s not here long! Besides, the DJ is excellent and Erik- AKA Red Dragon** rocks my world.

I had this dream last night that Gant, Marisa and I were standing on my front steps, arguing with COE about the apartment, but we were all rapping. Even in my dream, I said something like, “why are we rapping?” It was so strange. I think I had a headache in my sleep.

*According to Dairy Queen, um, Madam Fortuneteller, ”I see a chili dog, in your future.”
**Kind of a lame nickname, don’t you think? Still, I think he was the best in the show. His cop was excellent. If anyone else sees this, e-mail me and let me know what you think!

dude, that sucks. You two could move in with me, but it might be a little crowded.

Now its time to pray to the gods of the reader to bring you a new apt asap!

Why Crazy Old Ernie Sucks Royal Cock by Me:

You are probably guessing by this title that we did not get our apartment back. Right-o!

Because the story is so long, I’ll summarize. Marisa gets home, and finds COE (Crazy Old Ernie) waiting outside to show the place to the wife of the guy who came in the morning. Marisa tries to talk him into letting us keep the place one more time. Once again, COE says what good tenants we are etc, and then asks about the new roommate that would be moving in.

Marisa: Jen’s friend, Gant.
COE: I’m not running a brothel.
Marisa: Excuse me!?
COE: This isn’t a whorehouse.

Um, that pretty much turned us away, you know, us whores.

Anyway, the air conditioning wasn’t working last night for some reason, and I was pissed about that, so, I call COE and tell him, we need to know if we have the place back or not. If not, fine, but he has to come and fix the air.

7:30 am, the phone rings:

After introductions and a discussion about the air conditioning, he says:

COE: I’m renting your apartment to someone else.
Me: (very cooly) OK.
COE: You girls never give me a straight answer! I called you and no one called me back . . .
Me: Ernie, we’ve been over this three million times. I did not get your messages. I did not receive your calls. I’m not going to say it again. You rented out our place. Fine and thank you very much.

. . . Dial tone.

Asshole.

Back to the search. I just want to make sure Marisa is cool and has a place to go.

i saw the sign. it opened up my eyes and i am happy now living without you. oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

what's wrong with me?

isn't it odd when you purchase your 18 year old brother a wiffle-ball bat, three wiffle balls, five baseballs and a baseball shirt for his birthday? shouldn't there be a G.I. Joe motif at the party?

by the way, i whooped his ass in wiffle-ball yesterday, 13-12. i won on the strength of two towering shots onto the grass surrounding the parking lot we were playing in. i really like wiffle-ball.

for some reason i get teary-eyed at all the hokey stuff that happens in baseball. i could feel a lump in my throat when i read about the shows of respect given to cal ripkin and about his home run. something about baseball brings out the inner wimp in me.

tonight i get to see my friend's new house in lovely des plaines. des plaines isn't really all that lovely, but i'm going anyway.

Okay, check this out.

Meetings are okay, but trial runs are cooler. thats for this afternoon.

Jen

I’ve heard that war is good for absolutely nothing. Say it again.

Me so silly! Brian, a new friend from a new blog*, said Burning Airlines should be the band of the month and the album name is Identikit, not what I wrote last night. I did not know this information. I feel like a hole. I don’t like to misquote, and not know certain information.

I saw Burning Airlines one time with Hey Mercedes and Promise Ring. I’ll remember that show for awhile. Not only because it rocked, but I was kind of drunk** and well, that was kind of Pat and my “first date” if you will.

All right, I have a few points of discussion for today if there is time. 1) why Crazy Old Ernie “sucks royal cock”*** and 2) the Bomb-itty.

Last night, Becky and I got to see a little something for free. (Refer to topic number 2 and above blog.) Anyway, for some reason, on the L this morning, I’m going through the entire freakin’ song of Ice, Ice Baby in my mind. Why do I know all the lyrics to that song?

If there is a problem, yo, I’ll solve it. Check out the hook, while my DJ revolves it.

*I don’t really know if the blog is new altogether, but it’s new to me. Check out the link to two.points.collapsing.
**I just got a few of bottles of Finlandia Vodka left over after my sister’s wedding. It goes down so smooth! Becky- you can attest!
***To quote some English friends of mine.

B to the G

Insert really cool rap here.

Okay, I was going to try to think of a clever freestyle rap thing to write about today, but everything I can think of is pretty lame-o. I tried to get inspired after Jen and I saw this play/musical show, The Bomb-itty of Errors, last night at the Royal George on Halstead and North (former home to Forever Plaid, and excellent super-cheesy show). I'll try to find a link later, but now its on to meetings, meetings, meetings.

ps-80's song on the month: "War (huh!)" you know the rest........

Jen

Great, now I have that song in my head! Greg, you're right. All that I want is another baby, ye-ah.

It's almost time for the big decision. To quote The Clash, "should I stay or should I go?"

I actually got a vote for the Band/Artist of the Month, which I wasn't expecting. So, Brian thinks it should be either Burning Airlines or Identikit. B? G-Roo*? Your opinions? I'm thinking I may be a little partial to Fugazi, rather than Shellac like I had said last month. The show was just so good. We will discuss over wings Thursday. Until then, throw out some names. I want to know what you think.

*Sounds like a cartoon character, or a man dressed in a giant kangaroo costume.

i hope you get the place, jen. it's really nice.

last night i stayed up way too late drinking beer and watching all-star related things. i even had a swig of sabra chocolate-orange liquor from israel. it was foul, but not without it's upside. namely, it didn't taste like vomit.

flickerstick is playing with wolfie at the metro on july 21st. i'll be there. will you?

my life is boring. go back and read jenn's post. she leads a lonely life. all that she wants is another baby. she's gone tomorrow boy. all that she wants is another baby. a-yeah-yeah.

i am so lame.

Jen

Where do I start?

Jesus, a lot has happened! I guess I should start last night. So, I’m at Pat’s and my cell phone rings: it’s Jer. I’m shocked, and still slightly mad at his goodbye from earlier. Bitterly, I ask why he’s calling me, and he tells me “to give you a proper goodbye.” You can guess what happened next.

After I go through a box of Kleenex, I decided that Pat’s place is just too damn hot, and I head back to the wonderful, air-conditioned confines of my place. When I get there, Marisa, one of my roommates, is up. We talk for awhile, and as it turns out, the one roommate who we thought would stay is leaving, and now there is a room free. All of this means that Gant can move in, and we can keep the apartment, rather than Gant and I looking for a new place. My current apartment is really great: It has tons of windows, high ceilings and enclosed porch and a back yard. I love it there. So, I call Gant, and we decide to figure stuff out in the morning when we both have a chance to sleep on the offer. I also feel bad for Marisa, because I want her to have a place to live too.

I go to bed, feeling pretty content knowing that I won’t have to pack up all my crap. Of course, the morning changes all of that.

I’m in the shower, and I hear two voices. I listen more closely to find that it is my landlord, Crazy Old Ernie, and some guy. Well, I’m thinking, “Oh shit, he’s showing the apartment,” which turns out to be true. Of course, once I have plans settled in my mind, everything is up in the air again. Anyway, I’m standing there in an oversized shirt and a towel and Marisa just got dressed and we are trying to convince Ernie to let us keep the place. At first, he tells us that he refuses to renew our lease because no one at our apartment gave him a straight answer. I tried to tell him that all three of us live very separate lives and that we are all home at different times so we tend not get messages. Then mid way through the conversation, after Marisa and I try to calm him down some, he tells us that if this guy, the guy who is standing there who just viewed the apartment, doesn’t want it, we can have it back. Then he tells us what good tenants we are and how we always pay the rent on time and how clean the place is. Why would he want the hassle of getting a new tenant if we are so good?

At 6 tonight, I’ll know if we get to keep the place or not. Basically for one night, I was at ease about this apartment search. I’m tired of moving every year. I just want to stay in one place for awhile, you know? I moved a lot when I was younger and now I move almost as much. So now I’m all anxious and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m a little pissed too, but I don’t want to get into that on this blog.

Another thing that makes me mad is the price for Pat Benatar tickets. Not to be mean Pat, we love you and everything, but your tickets are not worth $30!!! Becky, how many of her hits are on that value CD you found? Five? And we didn’t even know one!!! I’m so sure that it was made up for the CD. Oh my god! That reminds me- Band/Artist of the Month for June! We need votes!!!

I also have an idea who I'd like to honor as 80's star of the month, even though it will be hard to beat Mr.T . . . more on that later.

Look! No footnotes!

Becky

I'm thinking about growing a unibrow

That Dilbert just cracks me up sometimes.

I am statistically significant. I proved this today at work. Yippee! Meeting today from 4-5:30. Work ends at 4. Thanks for being so accommodating, california.

Becky

Okay, there's this guy at work who always wears cowboy boots. I don't know why, but he always does and that's cool and everything. Today he was wearing white and black gym shoes, which were fine but looked kinda funny on him cause he always wears the cowboy boots.

Someone mentioned this to him (that they were surprised..lalalal..) and he pulled up his pant leg and lo and behold they were really cowboy boots after all. Definitely the funniest thing I have seen all day-white and black cowboy boot/sneakers. classy.

Jen

When someone tells you that a party is going to go into the “wee hours” of the night, do you think of 8:30 pm?

Of course not. Anyway, Pat and I got to Jer’s going away party at 8:30 and there were 7 people there. 7. That’s it. Now, I’m not upset or anything, but I got the whole “you’re late” speech from Jer and I didn’t really feel it was necessary. “Wee hours” my ass. We ended up hanging out there until 12. I think the strangest, and perhaps most interesting part of the eve was the basketball game that took place. Jeff*, a name far in my past, came to wish Jer** goodbye. The next thing I know, Jer, Jeff and Pat are all playing basketball, totally hitting it off and having a good time. I wish to god that I had a camera.

I usually get made fun of by a certain blogger about my ex-boyfriends. Not that they are to be made fun of, but of a certain situation that happened . . . Ok, that’s enough info.

I spoke to Jer this morning before he left and he seemed in really high spirits which in a way, made me slightly upset. Isn’t he supposed to be sad that he’s leaving? I mean a sniffle would have been nice. Anything!

Fine!!! Go then, GO!

Bill is back in town, so I can’t blog more today. Sorry.

*ex-boyfriend. We get along great- now, that is.
**also ex boyfriend, current best friend status. I’m thinking that over though. Why isn’t he sad!!!

eleven to your seven

go check it out on hey mercedes web site. i like it. i like you. but i don't like you, like you.

this is weird, but check out this if you have a fast internet connection and want to hear the new saves the day album. that's a very weird web site.

the weekend was long and hot. my brother saw blink. we were cautioned not to surf the web or talk on the phone. i broke out laughing. what the hell else am i supposed to do?

B-Gies

How's that for a name? I think it sounds too much like the Bee-Gee's. This is not good-I mean as much as I like "Staying Alive" as a movie, the Gibb brothers scare me a little bit. Okay, they scare me alot.

Happy Monday!

185 miles is the actualy total that greg's p's rode over the weekend. I was exhausted last night from all of the driving back and fourth from wisconsin if that tells you what kind of shape I am in.

We went to visit my parents in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. My mom sent me home with a bag of cheese curds. very fitting, mom.

ps-cheese curds sound really gross, but are actually really good-they are basically cheese in bite-sized pieced but they are not cubes.

G-Roo

i'm changing my name to be more like J-Lo. i think you should too.

so it's official. after hours and hours of thought, i decided to go to the July 26th Vagrant show. earth shattering, isn't it? you should all go too.

my parents left this morning at 7 am. they are pedaling more than 175 miles to madison wisconsin. i still think they're crazy.

i should work.

Jen

Tikki, tikki, tikki. Hala Kahiki.

Anyway, last night was great, as usual. Don’t get the suffering bastard* like Jer did, it sucks! I would never ever say that about any drink there, but that was bad. Orange slices my ass!

So, I found the mysterious link** on the Wire . . . does this mean that Hey Mercedes is touring with - - -?

Tonight I’m looking at an apartment on Barry and Southport, only two blocks from Schuba’s. It sounds nice, vaulted ceilings, hardwood floors, newer appliances. Unfortunately, Gant is off being a camp counselor for the week and I’ll have to check it for myself. I called a bunch of other places, but no one likes to call me back. I swear, I’m a nice person! I just want a place to live!

XRT is playing some good tunes today. I just heard “What Girls Want”, by Material Issue, “My sister”, by Juliana Hatfield*** and "Bohemian like you", by the Dandy Warhols. And you want to know what donkey shite they follow these songs with?! Jeffrey Gain’s piece-o-crap version of "In your eyes!" GRRRRRR!

Bill is back from his Italy excursion on Monday. No more snood, free use of the internet, or the ability to blog when I want. No more jeans, t-shirts and gym shoes . . . I guess I have to look and act somewhat business professional again. Blimey!

Ok, I’m going to go outside for lunch . . . and never come back!****

*Although Hala Kahiki spells it bastered and pronounces bastard.
**If you are curious as to where it is, look for it! I did!
***My sister and I would always sing this to each other with an emphasis on: “ I hate my sister, she’s such a bitch.” Kids!
**** What a nice dream. Have a good weekend, if I don’t blog later.

Becky

cucumbers, cucumbers, cucumbers. may I never look at another one for a long, long time. Does anyone know Dame Edna? I might be meeting her in a few months. more to come on that story.

happy friday. I'm outie-ready to head up to the birthstate this weekend to visit friends and parents and to pick up greg's family who are biking to Madison. yeah, its a mere 160 miles-no problemo! I'm just glad that I am driving up.

Jen

Greg, here's an answer to your question: yo' mama.

greg

i actually took myself out of the game because i already knew the answer. i always thought a bun was for putting things in. Like a hot dog bun or hamburger bun. but the more i think about it, the more i realize things are also served in kaiser rolls. what i really want to know is what does evaporation look like?

Jen

HA! HA! Finally a game that I beat Greg at! I guessed right about the incense burner! You may have won the spice game, but I got this one!*

Becky, three blogs today. Nice job!

I was curious about the bun question, so I decided to take a poll. I believe it is the shape that makes a bun, a bun and a roll, a roll. Buns are more of a . . . bun shape. Jesus. See!? This is why I’m a photographer. I can’t describe things! Rolls are more . . . round. Forget it. I’m giving up.

*I am only taunting you in order to get you to blog again today.

Becky

Jen, you are correct-now I just need to get some sand and some incense to burn. don't you love that smell at the beginning of class? but you can burn too much incense or it gets a little overwhelming-my old roomate used to burn lots and sometimes my eyes would start to burn.

and the worst part of it is, I never learned to read!!!

I too am a lover of wayne's world shot in both my hometown of chicago and my birthtown of Milwaukee. Its true-I am from wisconsin. Whitefish Bay all-the-way!

Jen

It’s sucking my will to live!

I have been completely obsessed with Wayne’s World for the past two weeks. Have I ever mentioned that I think Mike Myers is a genius?

Would anyone like the job of a back scratcher? If so, I’ll employ you ASAP. I was eaten alive by mosquitoes yesterday. There is one on my shoulder blade that itches every time I move my arm. There it goes again! Damn it!

Yesterday, I was out in Bussy Woods with a bunch of friends grilling, drinking and hanging in the outdoors. That is where the mosquitoes came out in full force. Even those with many layers of bug spray were defenseless.

The 3rd turned out really good too. Pat and I joined Becky and Greg for the rooftop party. Those in attendance decided that we were “firework connoisseurs”- we only saw the best ones. Besides, we all got to watch Chris put on “the moves” and Becky finally got to meet Rob-bot. No volleyball was played.*

All day I’ve had that Boomtown Rats song, “I don’t like Mondays” in my head. I read this article in Time about Tori Amos’ new album, Strange Little Girls, about how she covers songs that men wrote about women, singing from a womans perspective. She covers this song on the album. What does this song have to do about women? Did I miss the whole point?

Today, I had lunch with Tina. Tonight I hang out with Jer. Saturday is the going away party. Tina and Jer leave for California on Monday . . . be prepared for sad songs and bad, sappy quotes on Monday.

Hmmm. . . using the stolen candle for something used in yoga. . . an incense burner? Am I right (or am I right?)** or am I missing the obvious?

*I hate volleyball. A certain Rob-bot (try to imagine why we would call someone a nickname that sounds like robot) would always ask me to play volleyball with him in high school, even though I made it clear that I hated the sport and would only play it if hell froze over.
**Ned Ryerson! Bing!

Becky

What is the definition of "bun"?

This is what the marketing guy asked me today on the phone. He then proceeded to look it up in the dictionary while I was on the line waiting. Is there a difference between a "bun" and a "roll"? I say no. does anyone beg to differ?

Today has been a wierd day.
1.) This morning I got a history lesson about the revolutionary war and how great George Washington was from the Chinese guy I work with.
2.)I broke down and had fast food for lunch (but not from the fast food restaurant that crossed the line by putting a booth up at Taste of Chicago. what? you are not a chicago restaurant!) and I waited for like five minutes while the old guy in front of me tried to order some sort of criossant sandwich and the lady kept telling him that they were only serving lunch. There was lots of yelling from both parties.
3.) I found out tomorrow I am going to be making cucumber sandwiches at work. I don't even know what goes into a cucumber sandwich!

good morning, good morning, good afternoon

have you ever been on a bicycle tour?

yesterday me and beck met my parents at lane tech high school on the north side of chicago. they recently bought a tandem bike and enjoy riding it around. on friday they leave for madison wisconsin. from chicago. on a bicycle. i think they're crazy.

but anyway, we met them up by lane tech on our bicycles and rode down to the abandonned site of Riverview amusement park, 2 blocks to the south. it wasn't cool and spooky like abadonned amusement parks are on tv. instead everything was gone except for some concrete foundations. then we rode down to logan square. if you're ever in chicago and you wanna see something cool, ride down logan boulavard. it's a giant boulavard with some incredible houses and buildings on it. the square itself is beautiful. it makes you wonder what the northwest side was like back in it's hey-day. we then rode down to humboldt park. this park was incredible. it had a lagoon with a beach. a beautiful old boathouse. cool looking old stables which have been converted into a theater. and tons of people having a great time. i had no idea chicago had such a unique park. then we rode to the taste. eat, eat, eat. vomit, vomit, vomit. etc., etc., etc. before we rode up the lakefront to irving park rode. if you live in the city and you haven't gone on a bike tour, go. if you don't live here, i will accept your excuse.

becky was very sick. now she's better. tonight we drink fruitty drinks with umbrellas.

Becky "back from the dead" Giesfeldt

I am alive and I am at work. You should know this because I can only blog from work as I am computerless at home. Okay so I will try really hard not to be boring today and I will not mention how I have nothing to do at work.

Let me tell you some stories about the last five or so days of my exciting life. Friday was highschool reunion. Okay, not a real reunion, but a gathering of my friends from highschool that I rarely see anymore. The good news is that my friend Eric moved back to chicago from Austin so he will be in town more :). So I had not eaten very much during the day so after a few margaritas at dinner I was doing pretty well. Okay, I was drunk at 8:30, is that what you want to hear?! to make a long, dumb story short, we went to see the show at second city and it was awesome!!!!!! but sad too cause it was the last night for one of the main dudes in the show (I think his name is Rich but I cannot remember). the good part is that they did an hour of improv after the show to say goodbye to this guy and they brought out alot of the old cast members including one Rachel Dratch for some fun. and fun it was. The low part of the night was when I was dragged and I repeat dragged into the hell hole that we all know as tequila roadhouse. I almost shed tears for my five dollars as they were handed over as a cover. but where else are you going to go at 2:30 thats walking distance from second city. oh dear, what have I become.

That was along story and I won't bore you with another one until later.

ps-the candle that was stolen from the above mentioned establishment is almost empty and has not wick. but I have an idea for it and the idea comes from something that they do at the yoga studio. Jen, any guesses?

pps-Greg makes good grilled cheese sammiches that are perfect when you are sick.

Jen

Where is everyone? Greg? Becky?

Happy 3rd of July! Rain! Yay!

Does sarcasm rule my world? Yes it does.

This morning, during the 7 minute or so walk from the blue line Jackson stop to work, my pants from the knee down were completely soaked. Although my umbrella rocks, it doesn’t cover my entire body. Someone should invent a body umbrella or something like that, for crazy rainstorms such as this morning.

Speaking of my umbrella . . . I left my lucky umbrella at yoga two weeks ago. I should probably explain why I think it’s lucky. Before I moved to England for those six months, I found this old school, circa 1985 red umbrella in my mom’s closet- still in the packaging. So, I took it with me. It traveled with me to Italy, Norway and all over Scotland, besides being my daily companion in Newcastle. When I went to Ireland, I accidentally left the umbrella at my flatmates (Steph) fiancée’s (John) family (got it?) house in Kells where I was staying. I was pretty upset, considering the fact that I had taken the umbrella with me everywhere.

In November, I go back over to Newcastle to visit. I guess during the summer, John’s little sister came over to visit, and brought the umbrella back over with her thinking that it was Steph’s. So there it was- the umbrella had found me. I know it sounds stupid, but I was excited I got it back.

Back to the very near present. Anyway, I called up crazy Mary as soon as I realized it was gone and I picked up the umbrella the following week. Today was the first time I had to use it since I got it back. When I did, there was a post-it on the inside that read: “Jennifer’s lucky umbrella. Please keep it safe for her!” There you have it.

If fireworks do happen this eve, I’ll be in the city, either drinking beer on a rooftop or be somewhere in the Taste. I prefer rooftop. Now, all I have to do is convince Pat.

I get off early from work today. Thank god! Even though I believe that some people got the enitire day off from work. Grrr. And since tomorrow is a national holiday, and my friend Jordan’s birthday, there will be no blogs from me, and most likely, no blogs from the rest of OK. So have a good few days. Back on Thursday.

Jen

Ok, I went back on that dream thing and choose three key words from the dream. Everything was dirty- the house, the room, the cars. The house was white and so was the room. Finally, the key was a main focus. I specifically remember that the most. So here I am, sharing a bit of my sub-conscience with you again.

-dirty-
This is a dream of contrary. Whatever has been bothering you will clear up in an orderly fashion.

-white-
White promises success in all endeavors.

-key-
Fitting a key into a lock predicts a happy love life, and turning it augurs the opening of doors and opportunities.

So, I guess it was a good dream. I’d still like second opinions.

Ok, back tomorrow. I hope Becky feels better. I miss her!

Jen


Oh sure, Greg. Blog once and then call it a day. . .

So the weekend was good. What about the temperature drop from Saturday to Sunday? Brrr. I’m wearing a sweater and jeans today. Maybe I’m over reacting to the cold, but I don’t think so. I got to spend the weekend out in Streamwood. I still don’t know how I feel about it. I just feel odd staying at Pat’s parent’s house when we both have places of our own. We did have some family stuff to do and all . . .

Saturday night, when Pat and I got back, we fell asleep on the floor with the TV on. I had this crazy dream. So, I’m walking home* from the bank on the corner of Cortland and Devon in Park Ridge. Anyway, it’s night, which is odd enough to be leaving a bank. I get home, but instead of the apartment, there is this small, dirty, white building, with two doors and a bunch of crappy cars parked out front. Anyway, I think to myself, that this is a hotel, and I wonder if I should check in before going into my room. I decide to just let myself in. So, I go to the second door and behind that, there is this tiny hallway with two more doors and cement floors. The first door on the left is mine and I can remember holding the main door open with my leg to get some light in from outside while my focus is on the key going into the lock. Once inside, I’m in a dark room where all I can make out is the dresser. When I turn on the lights, there is a bed and posters. There is clothing all over the bed. I make a realization that the room is mine, like my bedroom at home. Then I make another realization that my room has hardwood floors and this room has carpeting and that it isn’t really my room. Anyway, I’m thinking about all of these things . . . Then I hear, “when I feel his presence, I look in the mirror and I can see him here with me.” While this voice is speaking, I walk to the mirror and wake up. I still hear the woman’s voice because it is the voice of the woman on TV. There is this show about ghosts on the history channel. It completely freaked me out. I guess I have to go back to that dream page to figure this out, unless someone out there is a dream expect. In that case, you can write me.

*Home is actually the first apartment we lived in in Park Ridge when my mom, sister and I moved out of the south SIIDE! of Chicago.