Jen

Peep.

Yes, it has been two long days without the blog. It has actually taken me that long to be able to look at any sort of computer/tv screen with out having the urge to vomit. Yes, it is gross. Sad, but true.

As Becky said before, I went to the worst place on this earth, otherwise known as The Marquette Inn on the corner of Frankiln and Adams. Do not go here if your life depended on it. I love breakfast food. So, when I was at lunch, a light and yummy cheese omelette sounded so, so, so, so good. I ate it and the world was fine. HELL broke loose at approx. 8:15 pm in my stomach and the past two days have been torture. So, it looks like no Plan (sniff, sniff. WAH!!!!) this weekend and no drinking, no fun (once again, WAH!) I hate sounding like a child, but why, oh why, did I have to be cursed this weekend?!?!?!

I hope you folks at panaphobic had a good time. I want a full update!!!! I want an BLARG so fuckin' detailed it was like I was there. That's all I want as a get well present.

Right now, I am not at work. I'm thinking of making an appearence later this afternoon. Pat seems to think that I should go in. See, I'm looking for my own apartment, and I need the cash. I still think I feel like absolute crap. What to do, what to do?

Ok, well I do have tons to say, but I'll have to save them for later. I'm hoping to get a nice long blog in this weekend. Of course, I have to help Pat with his video, and, maybe, make an appearance at a Pat family function. I'll try to talk later, anyway. Becky (the dear who checked up on me!!!) and Greg, have a great time in your respective places. Oh, and Greg, if you don't hear from me again today, rock out tonight and get all sloppy drunk for me. Actually, you too, Becky!

Becky

Yay! the Blog is back! But alas, I have no time to write because I am leaving in just a few minutes for the great up north. So everybody have a great weekend and I will leave you with a lesson that I learned in today's safety meeting.

"Take two minutes for safety, it could save your life."

and I am off........

Becky

Okay, I am back of course. For some reason during one of my really bored periods a few months ago, I signed up for all of these email lists so I could get emails from things like Metromix and XRT and the like and could take up time at work reading them. I also signed up for joke of the day so I thought that I would share todays joke with all of you. Greg, I thought you might want to use a few of these, especially with your mom cause I know that your life's quest is to annoy her.....

HOW TO IRRITATE PEOPLE IN 16 EASY STEPS

1.During the lunch break, sit in a parked car and aim a hair-dryer at passing cars, just to see them slow down.

2.Use the intercom to call yourself (do not change your voice)

3. Every time someone asks you something, you ask: "Do you want ketchup with it?"

4.Encourage your colleagues to do the raindance with you every Wednesday

5. Take a waste bin, put it on your desk and write "Incoming mail" on it.

6. Develop an unnatural fear for staplers.

7. Use decaf in the coffee machine for about three weeks. And when everyone has kicked off caffeine, switch to espresso.

8. Answer everything anyone says with: "That's what you think."

9. Skip instead of walk

10. Ask people what gender they are.

11. Sing with the opera

12. Visit the poetry club and ask them why they don't rhyme.

13. Find out where your boss buys his outfits and buy the same. Wear it the day after your boss did. This is extremely effective when your boss is not the same sex as you are

14. Hang a curtain around your desk

15. Tell your friend five days ahead that you won't come to their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Ask people if they are pregnant.


*Note: I would stay away from #16 if I was you or you might get beat up.

Jen

(as told by becky)

Well, we have been a little worried about our friend Jen because we know how much she loves to blog. When she was still MIA today we decided to take the matters into our own hands and hunt her down. This was accomplished by one call to the cell phone (yes, we have keen detective skills). The poor girl apparently ate an omelete at a shady restaurant and her stomach has been paying the price the last two days. And it had to hit her at yoga of all places. Good thing crazy Mary was there to put her in the detox position.

Jen, I expect a full report on what is going on with you when you return.

As for me, I am looking forward to a fun-filled weekend in Minneapolis with my friend Nancy. Here's her description of what we are doing on friday night,

"The bar i'm going to take you to is the perfect breeding ground for a bizzaro night, especially if the crazy guy in the white afro, disco ball earings and white unitard is there. then there's always the chick in the laced up corset and riding crop..... "

There's nothing like a riding crop to start the night off right! The best part is that I don't have to drive at all cause my girl Jenny will be driving the Tahoe, although I don't know how safe that is going to be.....

WooHoo!! I just found out that we have a safety meeting tomorrow morning and then I am taking the afternoon off to drive up to minneapolis so today is really my last day of work for the week! 36 hours from now I hope to be drinking beer out of a boot. More on that later.

becky

Ahh, its good to be back as the first blog of the day. I made it to work in excellent time today. Good thing I got here in time this morning to sit around and do nothing all day. My boss has returned but just informed me that he has no time to talk today, so I am left in the dark again. Oh well, no I have lots of time for reading.

Hopefully today will go by fast because I am looking forward to some wings and beer and the company of friends at Fizz tonight. Also, hopefully we will hear from Jen today cause we missed her charming banter yesterday.

BG

Where are you Jen? How's the new coffee maker? What is going on with Bill? Don't leave us in the dark!!

Okay, so I have been very productive today. If you ever want to make a good meal, check this out-they have alot if interesting recipes from all different kinds of chefs for people of all different kind of skill levels.

If you want a quick laugh check out these headlines. Some are pretty silly, but you'll get a chuckle out of things like an ad for a baseball that has all of the former presidents signatures on it. I try to watch Jay on monday nights for the headlines cause they are usually pretty good. This monday he also showed a pretty funny picture of Michael Jackson side by side with Courtney Cox and they looked identical! I am working on finding that one. While I am on the subject, although Greg disagrees, I really like alot of the music made by Michael Jackson. Thriller is a great album and I listen to the first disc of History all the time. There's nothing that can make you feel good like "the way you make me feel." I have had "smooth criminal" in my head all week-I think we need to make a trip to the record store tonight so I can build my collection. Good thing I got that CD player for my car. Now we can listen to Michael all of the time!!

greg to the walter to the r:

how frickin hard is it to put things in a database? there are only like 3 rules and the stupid consultants (who make more money in a year than i make in a decade) can't follow the damn things. it's so frustating when you see incredibly stupid mistakes that would probably get me fired and they get nothing. i can't even tell them they're doing anything wrong. i just have to fix it. argghhh!!!

anyways, how's everyone's day. here's my story, shorty has already heard this and anyone who rides a train probably has run into a similiar situation but i thought i'd tell you anyway. i'm riding the blueline in from o'hare, cause that's where i live. i'm going into work and there are these three germans on the train who obviously just arrived in the country, clutching their chicago guidebooks and spewing phrases like 'ich liebe bier' and so on. this homeless man enters our train car and proceeds to walk down the car asking people for change. i guess asking is the wrong word because his statements would be transposed something like this,

"ksdblkafbdlfbglkjb;ajdfb;kbg;kabdf;gad"

you couldn't understand a damn word. he comes up to the germans and the first two ignore him and he moves onto the last one, a shy girl of about 17 (no this isn't a porno) and he goes,

"ksdblkafbdlfbglkjb;ajdfb;kbg;kabdf;gad"

she just stares straight ahead obviously not understanding and not wanting to look at an american bum. so he repeats,

"ksdblkafbdlfbglkjb;ajdfb;kbg;kabdf;gad"

and she repeats the staring. this goes on one or two more times before the bum moves on. the train lurches. he falls directly on the lap of some lady he gets up, says,

"ksdblkafbdlfbglkjb;ajdfb;kbg;kabdf;gad"

lady shakes her head, he moves onto some kid and rubs his head. the kid tells him not to touch him. the bum rubs his head. the kid says don't touch me. the bum rubs his head. the kid pushes the bums hand away, the bum rubs his head. train lurches. the bum falls on the floor. the bum gets up and moves to the next car.

and mary kept all these things and pndered them in her heart.

back to work. i think i need a nap. but me and shorty are cooking some dinner tonight so that'll be good.

Becky

Wow! I can't believe that I was beaten! Good job Greg. I want to hear your story now!! I would like to point out that I beat you very badly again in Mille Borne< last night. The worst part about getting to work so early in the morning is that when you feel like you have been working forever, you look at the clock at its 9:00-not even close to lunch yet. I am still sorry that I missed yoga last night and I am looking forward to getting back on track next week. How was crazy mary??

Okay, so I just received a small box of chocolates that someone is passing out at work for some reason. mmmmmm truffles....... Today I have less to do than yesterday and even less motivation now that marketing put the kaibosh (once again, I have no idea how to spell) on my project. So instead I will search the internet far and wide for a recipe for dinner.

g-funk r_:

good morning all. no blogging yesterday really sucked. i had so many people to put in the damned database and so much to audit you'd think i was getting paid for this. oh wait. i pulled into the office at 7:15 this morning. no one else was here though so i was here at 7. got it? it's kinda cool to beat becky to the first blog of the day. i've got a bit of a story for you blog, but it'll have to wait until after i do a little work. rock.

Jen

Work? WORK? I’ll give you work!

Well, it’s 4:15 and the end of my day. Well, not quite. I’m supposed to leave at 5. I actually stopped really working at 3 or so. That is because although I do have work to do, I do not feel like doing it. It is spread out in messy stacks all over my desk. Other parts are even hiding in drawers. Even more is under my desk. And yet, no one asks me where any of this stuff is. This should be my new policy. If a document is not referenced in three months, I throw it out. If anyone has a problem with this, “they can kiss my big white butt. Pucker up, buttercup.”

There is little or no action on the blog scene today. Why? Where is everyone?

I realize that for the first time in a very long time, I don’t have much to say. I will congratulate Barb (my work buddy) on using all of the ink in her pen. It’s hard to have that sort of dedication to one writing utensil, but Barb did it.

Ok, that is my sign to go.

Becky

So I think that Greg is actually working today. What's up with that? Jen, I have to say that I share your hatred for Russell Crowe. He is so not cute! His performance in Gladiator was average at best. Just because you beat alot of people up doesn't mean you should win an oscar.

Today at my meeting I realized just how insane the company I work for really is. Apparently our marketing department has hired a psychiatrist. That's right, a doctor was hired to figure out how consumers really feel about their food storage bags and how we can bring them to a new emotional level with food freshness. The world has gone mad.

Time to go home! Huzzah!

Jen

Thanks to Matt and Zach and their anti-Russell Crowe BLARGS. I’d also like to thank Steve Martin for his joke at the Oscars about Ellen Burstyn’s performance in "Requiem for a Dream". . . “she made herself look 30 pounds heavier and 20 years older--and Russell Crowe still hit on her." Ha, ha. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!! (imagine this but evil, like it is the fru-it of the de-vil.)

I have the best job today! We needed some signatures on important forms (yes, I love being vague.) So, I got to scan them, do some touching up on PhotoShop and copy and paste them onto the new documents (this was done with permission, just so you know.) I wish I could do this more than the other stuff I do. Hint two about my job: It has nothing to do with PhotoShop. (To see hint one, refer to March 22 at 1:18pm)

I just realized something. I keep forgetting to ask anyone if they saw the Guy Ritchie directed Madonna video. Anyone, anyone? Bueller, Bueller?

Another thing…. Where is Greg? We got two nice blogs from Becky, but no Greg. Is he. . . dead?

I just went out to lunch with my buddy, Nathan. He, like half of the universe, feels the need to relocate out west. He is planning on leaving in the beginning of May. Here are other people either moving west, planning on it, or want to: My mom and step-dad, Derek, Jeremy, Sean and Kristy, and yes, my very own boyfriend, Pat. The furthest west I plan on moving within the next few months is from Lakeview to Wicker Park. But that is a completely separate story of it’s own.

Becky

Going to sleep in the freezing cold is the worst! I am reminded of a story when I lived in England and my friend Sarah convinced me to take the ferry over to Dublin for St. Patty's day with her and leave the next morning. But where are we going to stay? Oh, it will be a big party and we will stay up all night and not worry about making reservations at a hostel. So I foolishly agree and we go to Dublin, have a great time at this one pub and find ourselves out on the dark streets at like 2 am and there is nobody out and it is raining. great idea sarah!!
by a stroke of luck which I will never understand, we then run into some friends of ours who were also studying abroad in England that year. They had thought ahead and had a room at a hostel, so we slept on the floor. All I had at that point was a soaking wet fleece-I have never been so cold as that night-I think my entire body was shaking as I tried to sleep on the floor. But it all worked out and we made it back even without getting sick on the ferry ride back.

and I am now late for a meeting. later.

Jen

It's a Bill (the boss) free morning!

Ha!!!! I got in late and no one cared!

Unfortunately, I kinda feel like crap today. I spent the coldest night ever at Pat's. The power went out in his kitchen on Sunday, which is conveniently where the heater is located. So, Pat's place was a cool 55 degrees. I slept with the most clothing on ever. I also had an impossible time getting up. So, I am groggy and still trying to warm myself up.

Brings me back to the old times with Bora at the Fletcher apartment. We had the absolute worst landlady ever, who we used to call "Jo Poe"(which is a shortened version of her name.) When she pissed us off, which was more often than not, we would throw in a "dumb-ass" or "retard" between the Jo and Poe. Anyway, our lovely space heater, which we referred to as "hell" (because when it was working, it could serious burn flesh if you sat too close to it), was emitting carbon monoxide. We had to make it through some of the coldest nights without heat. "Jo Poe" bought us a radiator space heater, and Bora and I would get pillows and blankets and lay around it while we watched TV, studied or slept. It was awesome (sarcastic.)

Ok, I'm going to have more coffee. More later.

Becky

It's meeting day.

The only good thing about meeting day is that I get a free lunch. This did not used to be a good thing though. We used to get these really gross box lunches from Baker's Square. I mean you get a free piece of pie and everything, but the sandwiches are just not good at all. So I convinced the secretary to make the switch over to the original sandwich factory and now I am a hero around the office. so many good things to choose from! Today it's the grilled three-cheeses. What can I say, it's the little things that make me happy.

So I am sorry that I cannot make it to yoga tonigt. I will miss crazy Mary and her relaxing talks. Watch out for Superman pose, I think she might break that out tonight. either that or the headstands, but I have to say I like when we do headstands-I can do a mean tripod.

Last night I watched the 10:00 news, which is pretty depressing, but I was quite amused by a story about a boy who is on trial for stealing $15. I guess he was supposed to steal some drugs and went into the wrong apartment and only found $15 and got caught stealing it. What are you doing? 15 dollars?! get a job and work for like 2 hours! (Please note: This might not be totally true because I was half asleep when I watched this, but it made me laugh alot anyways)

Time to work.

Jen

This is the last you’ll hear from me today. Anyway, here is this e-mail that I got from my friend Jason.

“hey, kids.
so i "acted" and wrote a lame monologue for a friend's short video project, which is gonna be shown in public. it was pretty out of character...i play a tortured artist that walks a lot and doesn't talk! the monologue kinda sounds like a philosophy 101 student's musings on technology. anyhow, it's part of a multimedia event that'll feature video, virtual reality, and live music. costs $5 to get in, drinks are cheap. sorry about the short notice, but i didn't get the info until today...
"independent media urban assault"
tuesday, march 27----9 pm
alumni club----2251 n. lincoln----upstairs
erm...if you can't make it...you won't be assaulted?
J”

I’m hoping that I can go to this event, but I really want to go to Yoga- even if you can’t go Becky(by no means, would it be the same without you though!). I’m in dire need of Crazy Mary’s hypnotic voice! I hope our readers (a confirmed four of them!) will check this event out, nonetheless.

I’d also like to say a little something more about Saturday night. I seriously hiccuped for 20 minutes straight. Really. Jordan, Eugene and Greg spent way too much time trying to scare me, and I thank you guys for being supportive during my time of need. It was Frank though, that solved my problem. He had a flask of Rum (Rum=bad, unless it is Malibu or it is accompanied by another beverage) and a swig did the trick! My throat burned for a good five minutes.

Besides that, I was all ready to take off from work on Friday to head to Urbana for the Plan for a Thursday night show and see Drawing a Blank on Friday with Greg. Oh, how you disappoint me. So, I told Pat that I might be doing this instead of going up to Milwaukee as planned for the Saturday night show. Now that I have changed plans back to how it was, I wonder if he’ll go with me to Milwaukee again. Please Pat, pretty please?

One last thing. I have decided to participate in my Graduation ceremony at UIC. I was going to tell them to blow it out their arseholes, but I suffered through four and a half years of their bullshit. I am going to walk. This leaves me five weeks until the big day, and little time to plan a very, very big party.

Jen

Greg, just read your blog after I posted my blog. The guy's house you were at was my buddy, Jake- who I have not seen in ages and, actually had no idea we were at his house until I bumped into him and he told me. I thought the highlight would have been all my art friends at hoochie Bar Chicago. Sara and I were the most clothed females of the evening.

Gotta run.

Jen

I'm back- and after doing lots of work- or at least trying to look like I am doing lots of work.

So, the Oscars! I think that Zach covered things really well, but I’d like to add a few things…

I had the pleasure of viewing the whole affair with my step-dad. He made many comments about Bjork’s swan dress, all of which I found very humorous. He was pretty upset that Tom Hanks did not win anything for Castaway. Ted pointed out that the man did gain and lose an excess amount of weight for the role. I had to comment on the fact that the Ocars are not about weight gain and loss as much as they are for acting. If weight was the object of the Oscars, Oprah would have many.

I will say that we (meaning Ted and I) were very pleased with Steve Martin as host. I honestly will say that I love that man.

Ahh… but here is my first problem with awards given. If you have been reading, you probably know who I will talk about now. Russell Crowe should NOT have won best actor. I know that there are people out there that like Gladiator, but please. We all know that there are much better actors and movies. It could be that I have a personal vengeance against him. During my search to locate an article about his planned kidnapping, I located a site that makes no sense to me. Although this has nothing to do with the Oscars, I had to put it in the blog anyway.

Before I talk about best picture, I think I need to set the stage first. Last Sunday, I finally saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Now, I’m probably alone in this world when saying this, and I’ll probably receive tons of hate mail, but I honestly didn’t think that it was all it was hyped up to be. I found it extremely beautiful to watch, and the fight scenes were awesome, but I didn’t think the story had much purpose. I also thought that the amount of flying was ridiculous. There is an article in the Sun Times(crap newspaper) that supports my ideas, but I can't find it yet. When I do, I will post it. Anyway, here is a question me and my friends posed: If Jen (!) needed to get the medicine for Li Mu Bai so bad, why didn’t she fly back to the complex instead of take the horse?

Anyway, back to the Oscars. Did anyone find it odd that CTHD was nominated for best Foreign Film and also best
Picture? My theory is that the “academy” made CTHD win as best foreign film so that dumb-ass Gladiator could win best picture. Does anyone agree?

Ok, enough about that. Greg, what did you do after we separated Saturday night? (really Sunday morning- it was like 3 am or so?) Just curious. What was your take on the evening?

I’ll be back, again.

Greg R:

"He's listing what's left - a signed slayer t-shirt, a car up on blocks in his mother's back yard"

thanks for the props on the new design. I’d like to thank the academy, Madonna - without whom this would not be possible, my cat scotchbrite, ivan hadad and the letter g.

so on Saturday night I lived up to my goal of partying like a rock star. after drinking kegged beer out of an empty bottle of Budweiser at someone's house I’ve never met, I stumbled towards the El and my buddy's apartment. we disembarked at the Addison stop by Wrigley (after I decided it would be cool to drink a little mickey's on the train) and I proceeded to take a header down the stairs, bruising my cheek a little and hobbling me for all of Sunday. it probably didn't help that I ended up sleeping sideways on a chair that night.

I wish I could make it to urbana for the plan show. for some reason all the good shows roll in right after I leave town. I will be down for a show of my own on Friday, but that’s just too late. god damn you fate!! why must you toy with me?!?!

I better do work before I get fired like en.

someone's got a case of the Mondays

Becky

Don't worry Jen. Bosses come and go, but the blog is forever! Lord knows I am not doing much today. I figured since I stressed out alot the last couple of weeks over my project, then I get to slack off this week big time.

Right now my friend a couple cubicles away from me is talking to his mom in this mix of this indian language (I am not even going to try to figure out how to spell it) and english. It's quite bizarre but very interesting. I think he's talking about his out of control little sister. I can relate, as I too have an almost 19 year old younger sister who is out of control. She lives in Kansas. She is broke and wants to buy a car but is spending her birthday money on another tattoo and an eyebrow ring. Maybe she can use these things to help get money off a car or something cause I don't know how else these things will help her. We had fun this weekend. I actually got her to watch part of the Illinois game with me on Friday night because she thought one of the KU players was hot. too bad he looked like spock, but I kept that to myself.

As a side note, shipping and receiving guys should never be able to make announcements to the entire building. Only bad things can come of this. They also shouldn't be allowed to call me "Becky Sue" or "dollykins" but that's another story for another day.

Jen

Jenny did a bad, bad thing.

Today I got into work very late. Later than usual. I even got a “talk” from the boss. I am feeling very guilty (my Catholic upbringing?) because, well, I come into work late everyday and I basically thought that I could get away with it and I got caught. See I have this casual way of slipping into the office and making myself look as if I’ve been here for ages. It’s a technique I’ve finely tuned over my four years here. Now that I got the “talk,” I wonder if he’s been noticing me slipping in late and just got so sick of it that he had to say something. He didn’t say anything about those other times, but maybe that’s he way to making me feel bad. On the other hand, I could be blowing this whole thing out of proportion. He just noticed today and that’s why he said something. I’m really in the clear. Anyone who knows me, knows that I tend to over react/blow things out of proportion.

So, because of my guilt, I’m thinking I shouldn’t blog as much as usual. Hmmmm….. No! I can’t do that!!!! I have to talk about the Oscars!!!! Ok, I’ll work for 2 hours, no internet access (meaning I can’t check my hotmail, Panaphobic and Are You Wearing a Wire?, and the weather-oh, and I know this is the worst weather source, but after leaving my hotmail, it goes right here), and then I’ll get back to it. See you in two hours, or as soon as Bill goes to lunch.

Three cheers to greg for the new layout! I feel like I am writing a novel or a novella or some fancy literary work. sorry, i am a little out of it today. I am under the gun at work, so I figured that instead of making important decisions, I will just write to the blog.

So I totally forgot to gloat about my win in Miles Bornes, also known as the best game ever! I had never played before a couple of months ago and already I am kicking greg's booty and he has been playing his whole life! (sorry greg, but that 0 was pretty pathetic). what can I say? I have skills at french card games. okay, time to go fax over my newly signed lease. work? what work?

"Know your code. Reveal your code to no one. Only your code allows you to enter the system."

monday morning fatigue. it's the worst kind. i feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my face. that would be an ugly scene for the co-workers.

i got my ass absolutely kicked yesterday in miles bornes. for those of who don't know what miles bornes is (read: jen), it's a kick ass french auto-racing card game. you play the game to 5000 points and on an average hand you score about 1500. but on one hand i scored 0. thats right. 0. it really sucked.

it's time for stupid work. so stupid.

ps-no making fun of me if I spell stuff wrong. I am an engineer. I do not have to know how to spell (it's in the rulebook).

BeckyG

hello and good morning to you all. I am back from mad-city and let me tell you, it was fun. first off, friday night was lobster fest and apparently every single person in madison wanted to eat at red lobster that night because the place was packed. However, I did learn alot that night from my dad including the fact that you can starve to death eating crab legs because you burn more calories getting the stuff out of the shell than the meat actually gives you. so I have decided to go on an all-crab leg diet to get ready for the summer. but where can I get crab legs in Willowbrook? The high point of the weekend was when we went to state street brats and there was a guy in a brat costume whose buns got stuck in the doorway when he was coming in the restaurant. we also saw him ride in on his bike and spend like 20 mintues locking it up cause he kept falling over from the huge brat costume. see what fun you can have in wisconsin?!

Okay, I am rambling now and lotus notes awaits me with meeting notes and other fun things to read. until later.....

greg r:

well, ok has a new look and some links and an email thingy. html and don't really agree so i'm amazed i made it this far. if it looks really messed up on anyone's computer let me know and i'll fix it. i still need to do some tweaking. i'm off to the shower. and then to the booze. maybe i should combine the two.

nay.

greg r 22:

aw, screw it go ahead.

greg r 5' 7":

time to jet out of here. have a nice weekend all. don't drink too much and don't sleep around. okay?

greg r 11-04-1978:

does anyone know how sad it is when the highlight of your day was rearranging your cube? does anyone know how sad it is that i have a cube? i always imagined myself a little more successful than this. but i guess that's what grad school is for. i hope. or it's gonna be a long life.

a comment on the rules above. i consider those the rules for partying like a frat boy. except that the kissing in the stairs should be rephrased to kissing against any flat surface (including the floor and tables). i have had the misfortune to attend a few frat parties in my life at the university of illinois (run away! run away!) and all of the above mentioned conditions were met.

partying like a rock star, however, involves only one thing - alcohol. the alcohol can be either hard liquor, beer, wine or malt liquor. it should be drank fast and often, possibly injected through the veins. for examples, please reference motley crue, poison, etc. this is the activity i will hopefully be engaged in this weekend. although i doubt i'll carouse with as many women as the crue does. and i don't think shorty would like it if i did.

time to push off the rest of the day with a little wolfie.

J-Rock (as Chris used to call me)

Back to "Rockstar Saturday!" It all started on St.Patty's Day where Greg and I decided we wanted to "party like rockstars" this coming Saturday, well, just because. We had a plan to start drinking at my place and move to Fizz Bar and Grill. So, we asked Tim if he wanted to join us and the deal was done. On Wednesday, we were alerted by Tim that he won a free party at Bar Chicago. Here is the e-mail:

"Howdy folks! Ladies, I hope you got yer black pants and tube tops ready, and gentlemen, it's time to break out the cargo pants, 'cause I won a free party at Bar Chicago (9 West Division)! And if you don't know about Bar Chicago, now you do.
So anyway, here's the deal...
Anybody who goes to Bar Chicago and says, "That bastard Tim McAtee made me come," this Saturday night between the hours of 8:30 and 10:30 pm get free entry and booze until 10:30. Now here's what I want you to do: Send this out to everyone you know, and have them send it out to everyone they know, and so on and so forth. I want Bar Chicago to rue the day they ever heard of me. For the friends of friends reading this, the name is pronounced Mack-uh-tee (I don't know why, it just is). See you there!
Tim"

Anyway, free drinks for two hours is nearly impossible to pass up. On Wednesday night Sushi, Tim said he wanted the six degrees of separation of him to show up. So, being the good friend that I am, I am spreading the word! Hope we see you all (our now three readers!) there!

I'd like to discuss the phrase "party like rockstars" for a moment. Greg has been saying the phrase forever, but it wasn't until my annual-kick-ass-day-after-Thanksgiving Party that the rules for "partying like a rockstar" came about. My friend, Jonathan (from Newcastle, England!) and I were discussing what would make it a "rockstar" party. Here are the ingredients:
1) Vomit (or someone puking, which is acceptable as well)
2) An emergency vehicle/cop visit
and finally,
3) Kissing on the stairs.(we then changed it to just kissing, but when stating the list, it sounds better this way)

Greg- on Wednesday night, didn't you come up with a fourth to add to the list? I think so, and I think it was good too. Do you remember it?

Ok, two more hours of work until the official "Rockstar weekend" begins.

greg r 304092:

that's my high school id number. impressive that i still know it, eh? i haven't used it in 5 years. well, my earlier complaint about lack of blog activity seems to be totally the fault of my stupid computer. one minute i check and nothing. next minute, posts all the way back from midnight. god damn spencer stuart. i didn't mean to say that. don't tell mr. stuart.

this is gonna be a weekend without shorty, so i plan on partying hard. a little bit of booze. a little bit of rock and roll. but for now, a little bit of braid. rock out.

867-5309

Greg, you know for a fact that Lazzo's is better. . . Actually, my new favorite burrito place (and if you know me, you know that I am OBSESSED with burritos and crave them all the time) is on Barry and Ashland. It's called Tortas USA, although, for the longest time I thought it was called Mexican Grill. If you look at the sign, it has all these names on it, so it's a bit confusing. Anyway, you get your choice of tortilla (tomato, spinach, wheat or white) and then you pick the stuff to go in it. The price is a sweet $5.00 and it's the size of a small country. Enjoy.

Jen

It's officially one day to "Rockstar Saturday!" What is "Rockstar Saturday!" you ask? Well, with Tim's permission, I will post the e-mail he sent regarding a certain free drinking fest at Bar Chicago (even though I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother got the e-mail). More later on that.

Last night, I went by Pat's (the BF) and drank beer with Eugene and Pat W.(my Pat's roomate) and watched Iron Eagle. Does anyone remember this extremely 80's movie? Well, the acting is horrible, the fight scenes were done on a $10. budget, but my, is it entertaining! The cheesy 80's soundtrack alone made it for me. Especially the five minute "planning" scene that occurred during all of "We're not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister.

Of course, I couldn't go to bed after that. NO. While my Pat was writing his paper about the movie, Pat W.and I watched the Quick and the Dead. That brings me to the topic of Russell Crowe, who made a less than fine appearence in this film. Anyway, Pat W. has brought it to my attention that terrorists from Equador wanted to kidnap Russell Crowe and hold him hostage for $15 million. Then, if the money wasn't paid, day by day, they would cut off his fingers. First and foremost- why Russell Crowe? Why not Harrison Ford or god, anyone else for that matter? Secondly, does Russell Crowe have a huge following in Equador? Is that why they thought the American public would miss him? I will admit that he was very good in LA Confidential- but what about the worst hockey movie ever made (Mystery, Alaska)? I guess Pat W. also saw a recent Star that had a picture of Russell Crowe on the cover, in Gladiator get-up with the caption, "Come and get me." Please Equador, take him.

I found an article about this. Although I can't find any references to Equador, I haven't given up hope yet!

greg r 847-696-1963:

all the blogs are really disappointing today. not a peep out of the normal boys. nothing from our freinds on the road. but they're out east so that's understandable. at least nanette is on the ball.

i miss not having to really work. i know, i know, i only graduated in january and have only worked at this job for 3 weeks, but it still sucks. i liked rolling out of bed to my computer, checking email, proofreading my latest analytical masterpiece (sarcasm implied) that kept me up till 5 am, showing up two hours late to sort books at the library. maybe it's lack responsibility i crave or maybe it's responsibilty i fear, but the key word seems to be responsibility. oh well, guess i'm getting old. 22's a pretty stupid age.

The past is not dead, it is not even past.

well, i'll cure the stink of responsibility with the stink of stale beer tonight. and possibly the stink of an arturo's burrito. you know, the place by the fireside. the one with burrito's better than lazzos.

greg r 3**-**-****:

"your doctor knows the symbols . . ."

hello, hello, hello and good morning. just got in from 'white noise' and a train ride down milwaukee avenue. now it's time to slip comfortably into the boredom that is my job. rock. i have recently added john rocker to my fantasy baseball team. i'm not sure if it's wrong to use the stats of a racist redneck to win beer from my freinds, but what the hell. he's not getting anything out of it.

free grape juice rocks in the morning.

i have so much work to do today. i think i'll probably be here till 5:30 or later. but the plus side is more blogging. the down side is infinite boredom. i'll check in later.

Becky

Good morning and Happy Friday everybody! Here's to the first blog of the day, which I realized today will most likely always belong to me because I have to be at work insanely early (7:15 am), but then I get to leave at 4, although that rarely happens.

So can you believe that USC won last night?! I am still in 3rd place for my picks so the Illini better come through for me tonight. I hope that I get a chance to watch the game tonight, but who knows how long we will spend at red lobster for jen's (my sister's) birthday. My family does know how to party..... I just hope that she doesn't like her present so I can keep it :) okay, time for expense report. peace out.

Becky

Well, its been a great first day with the blog. The good news is that I get to go home soon. The bad news is that I really need to get ahold of ASAP Management (sounds fishy, huh?) so I can go sign the lease for my new apartment. As of now, the phone has been busy for 45 minutes. Hello! Invest in some voicemail or call waiting or something! Esma is going to get a piece of my mind when I get through to her!

Jen

This looks like the last blog for the day...

My friend, Jason, brought a web page to my attention called Timmy Big Hands, that is closing down in the near future. I've been checking it out and I think it's worth your time to look at it.

The rest of the day has been productive. I made sure that the boss, who I will fondly call Bill, was upgraded for his flight home from Utah on Sunday. I dislike calling United all together, because the last time I called I was a)put on hold for 40 minutes, b)disconnected, c)had to call back and put on hold again for another 40 minutes and d)was on the line during the big earthquake in Seattle. It was crazy. I'm talking to this woman, and the next thing I know, there's screaming (by the woman, and I'm sure by her coworkers) and I hear all this stuff shaking. So I keep saying hello, because I know she's still there. When she gets back on the line, she tells me that she is under her desk and that there is an earthquake. Now, this is the best part. I say, "Is there anything I can do?" What could I possibly do to help her? Book a flight on United and go out there? Anyway, she said no, started screaming again and told me that she couldn't help me. Then she hung up.

Well, I'm hoping that Bora checked into the blog today. If you do, I'll pull out the "announcing card" and have it play you a song. Even better yet, I'll see if I can get you one.

Jen

Can someone please tell me why my computer sucks? Please?

Today, I am "all purpose Jen." Janet, another person in my five person office, has a rose plant in dire need of some TLC. I'm not really sure what the name of the problem with the plant is, but these little bugs emerge from somewhere (I only say "somewhere" because I am on the 65th floor of the building next to the Sears Tower- you know, the one with the crown? and there is really no way for bugs to get up here. We saw a bug once. Barb freaked out and bitched at the office of the building. There has not been one since.) and put a layer of cobwebs (no they are not little spiders. Trust me) over the entire plant. They suck the moisture from the leaves and they dry up. So, I spent about twenty minutes removing the webs and and all the dead leaves. Then I pruned it. Do I know how to properly do this? No. What is my line of work you ask? Guess. My hint: It has absolutely nothing to do with plants.

Anyway, I then proceeded to check my on-line guide to plant care. I checked it once before because, at this moment, I am trying to revive a poinsettia plant that was given to us for the holidays. That's when my computer decided that it sucked and just stopped.

That's my morning. I have also been paging through the Office Depot catalog, aka the Big Book. I'm placing the order for the coffee maker today... anyway, here's an Office Depot related story. When I moved into my apt., Ameritech, the most evil phone company on this planet, decided that they were assholes ( I know, why does everything "Decide" to be something?) and we didn't have a phone line for two months. Sometimes I would get home and pick up the phone, just to see if there was a dail tone. Then, when I heard nothing, I would curse Ameritech for at least ten minutes and then go use my cell phone and bitch to whomever I was calling about Ameritech.

It was the day of my sisters wedding (Sept. 23, 2000!) and I got home from the night out around 3 am or so and I was pretty drunk...That's another story... and I go to pick up the phone and ah-ha! Dial tone! So, who do I call? My friends? Family? Nope. That's right, folks, I call Office Depot. It was the only freakin' number I could remember- 1-888-Go-Depot. So I listened to their voice mail.

Becky- just wanted to let you know that I had some yum- girl scout cookies (made from real girl scouts!) this morning too. Now, I'm going to eat lunch. Later.

BeckyG

Okay, so I think I am getting more of a handle on this blog-thing. This morning at work was way to busy to figure anything out, but now it is lunch and I can slack off for a while. I decided to hit the vending machine for a lunch supplement and thought the chex mix looked pretty good. Unfortunately I did not realize that it was the reduced fat kind and now I can only really describe it as gross, especially the imitation ritz crackers. Don't believe the words "bold party mix" cause they are not true. looks like its back to the cookies.

Tonight I am looking forward to taking over the number one position in my group with my picks for the NCAA tournament, although I will most likely fall asleep before most of the games are over, so I probably won't know until tomorrow. and then its onto the illini game on friday. I hope they got alot of inspiration from the fact that I picked them to win the entire tournament. I think I might have to drop a note to Frank and Sergio in case they didn't realize.........

i'm not currently downloading porn, thank you very much. i just got back from a long, boring and pintless meeting. i meant to type pointless, but pintless is apropo (or however you spell that) as well since there was no beer. i'm currently debating whether to work or to do tons of pointless research on my next fantasy baseball pick. i hope to finish above last this year. that would make it the first time in the 8 baseball/football/basketball leagues i've participated in that i haven't hung out at the bottom. that would be cool. but with my complete lack of relief pitching it doesn't look so good. the trumpet player from my old band, the small mediums at large for those of you who don't remember, emailed me and asked me to take down this bio. It seems he's a teacher now and his students found it. the only problem is i don't have access to the page anymore so i can't take it down. that's what he gets for writing smut. i only read it. not really. i better work before i get fired. rock.

Becky

Looking good with those links jen! today is quite a busy day. since the explosion of my project last week I have had very little time to do fun things like read blogs, and now I can even write in one! The good thing about today is that I got the girlscout cookies from one of the guys at work (actually, from his daughter). So it looks like thin mints for lunch today!

Jen

Does anyone know how to make my name smaller?

Ok, I think I figured out how to link to Panaphobic Superhero. I am really sorry if this doesn't work.

Jen

Best pick up line ever: "Can I touch your butt?"

Sushi and tikki made for an excellent night of raw fish and fruity drinks. Especially those crazy orange bath oil balls.... yikes. Anyway, thanks to all those folks from high school that made the night so great. "Let's ditch girls choice and go drink beers in the forest!"

Ok, I almost forgot. I did not see the Madonna video on Tuesday night. Did anyone see it? Was it any good? Does anyone have a tape of it? I guess when I say anyone, I mean Becky and Greg, or any of our friends that have strayed in on the past day... which makes our readers a total of two. Actually- thanks to Zach from Panaphobic Superhero who gave us a link. We greatly appreciate it. Now all I have to do is figure out how to give them a link back....

Greg- where are you? I need technical support! I know all you are doing now is reading every article from the CNN page or downloading porn!!!!!! Don't deny it!!!!

Listening to Miss.Jackson on my computer. God, I love Napster.

good morning! becky signing in....

I just attempted a post but as the boss walked by I had to abort the mission. but here I am, back from Atlanta. some of you know me as shorty, but I actually have a real name (thank you, greg). unfortunately I have to run to a very important meeting at 8:00. I'll be back to blogging soon!

Jen

brack - ish (brack'ish), adj. 1. salty or briny. 2. distasteful or unpleasant. - brack ' ish - ness n.

Greg the R:

I just got a new computer, you don't hear me gushing all over the blog do you?!?!? oh. sorry. seperately, I hate CEO's. Even more seperately, 7:30 for sushi sounds excellant. I have to go to circuit city to spend money anyway. hey, does anyone (and by anyone i mean jenn or shorty) know what brackish means? it's in a weakerthans song and i'm too lazy to go to the online dictionary. i'm out. gotta audit.

Jen

I spoke to the boss. We are getting the Mr.Coffee. Thank god the hell is over. I just thought that this was an important update. (I am being very sarcastic.)

Greg- I am more than up for the sushi tonight. I'm taking the blue line back to the p's tonight and I'll be available after 7:30ish. Can you guys wait that long? Did you talk to Seth or Gant? Can we also go to one of the two Starbucks that are less than 1 block away from each other tonight?

JEN

Jenny McJen in.

Argh.

I am so exhausted right now. You know it’s bad when you are reading “important work documents” (aka new Chicago magazine that comes to the office) and your eyes barely stay open and you do that weird spasm/head bob thing. I stayed up too late talking to the BF on the phone when I got home from the Judy’s. At approx. 2 am, I tried to get him to just come over, but that proved fruitless. So, I got off the phone at 2:30 and managed to fall asleep by maybe 2:45ish. Woke up late, got to work late and will probably leave late (actually, I’ll still probably leave at 5, but whose counting)

Ok, now I must bitch about our coffeepot. Last week, it broke. There are many people here who are very dependent upon it for their morning hit of coffee. So, I understand the need for action and quick replacement. Anyway, the stupid thing cost $70. I say, “Only $70? Let’s get a new one!” Not so. I have been searching endlessly for a receipt to prove that it is under a year old. If it is, we can get it repaired free. I will give Krupps my first born if it is under a year old. That is how much I can guarantee that it is not. So, I tell the boss that there is no hope and recommend a good old Mr. Coffee as a replacement (I found one in the Office Depot catalog for $50.) I guess my recommendation was not what he wanted to hear, because I spent a good hour of my morning looking at other records for proof of it’s age and calling repair service centers to see how much it would cost to fix. This business makes enough money to fork out 50 stinkin’ dollars to buy a new coffeepot. Do not even get me started on our forever-paper-jamming fax machine…

Yes folks, this is my job.

Argh again.

greggy mcgreg

that's my name, this is my blog. i'm feeling a little low right now. i just finished my first big report and i emailed it to several hundred people who make several hundred thousand dollars, and, what with me being an idiot and all, the report was blank. i had to recall it and send out the real one. my inbox is now clogged with 307 recall notifications. how's that for my first solo project at the new firm. whoopee. but there is a bright side. i'm listening to the new weakerthans cd. not much of a bright side, but there's nothing like canadian pop to calm that creeping feeling of dread.

on a completely differant note, shorty gets back today and i'm hopefully going for sushi. i would love a nice uncooked meal right now. hopefully jenny mcjenn can make it. we'll see. back to fucking up.

JEN

Oh lookie! My first header! Does that sound bad?

Yes, yes it does.

Well, I just spoke to "the Judy" and I'm heading out to bumble-fu... oh, um, pardon me. McHenry. I shouldn't refer to Jer as "the Judy," a) because I know he hates it (what man would want Judy for a last name?) and b)I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't like to be called "the Chrzanowski." I try to avoid my last name at all costs. For christs sake- look at it. There are only three vowels out of 11 stinkin' letters.

Anyway, I hate the drive, but I love hanging out with Jeremy. He's a complete goof (but so, so awesome- did I make you blush?) - Does "Bust a Move" sound familiar? Ahhh, it was a warm summer day in Brookfield. A karaoke contest. There were two men, only unstoppable by a wanna-be Backdoor Boy. Who else can do the caterpillar and get away with it?

I have 30 minutes of work left and it feels like TORTURE!!!!!! There are only three of us here at the moment: Tim (my bosses son) is in his office "studying" and Barb, who I think is the only real worker in this office is well, working. I am blogging. I just started today and I am already addicted.

Hmmm? I wonder who I can get to tape that Madonna video tonight. Guy Richie directed it, and the violence content is supposed to keep it off the air- except for a showing tonight on VH1 and MTV at 10:30 Chicago time. God, I remember when I had cable. I moved into my new place, hooked up the TV and there it was. Then it was taken away. That's probably a good thing. I watched way too much Behind the Music. You know it's bad when you look at the clock and realize that you just waisted 3 hours watching specials on the Go-Gos, The Bangels and Rick Springfield. I wish that I was Jessie's Girl.

Almost time to go. Until tomorrow...

So really. I'm writing this now and the only other person who knows about it is Greg- so "hey, Greg." I am going to say it's damn exciting to see what I write- so quickly and on our own page. Neat! I'm probably going to need your help to set up links and all that too.
Just so you know, I went to the Sidekick Kato show last night at the Double Door. So, so, so very bad. Remember how I said that they were good, then they broke up, then got back together, then sucked royally? Well, not much has changed since that VFW hall show. Yikes. The only funny/good thing about their performance was when the lead singer (that's another point I want to discuss) was kissing this mannequin head. He also told a series of one liners like "I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn't raise enough dough." Ouch.
That leads me to complain about bands with just singers- I mean, play the triangle at least. Or something- anything.
Ok- end of blog number two. Greg- I'm waiting for you. When does Becky get home again?

Well, this should be the first post ever. I promise they won't ever be this boring again.